You meet an attractive woman, and sparks fly; Everything goes smoothly – She laughs at all your corny jokes, touches you while you’re talking, and makes you feel like a million bucks.
Then, after wondering how the hell you are going to close the deal, she closes it for you and hands you her number.
“Wow”, you think, “I’m really starting to get it!”
You go home, or FLOAT home, rather, and that night you are so happy and so elated that you can barely sleep.
All kinds of beautiful thoughts fill your mind about you and her walking through the park, dancing, dancing, dancing…
You remember how sweet she was, her hair, her smell… her smile.
You can’t get her out of your mind! And you LOVE feeling this way.
You are “crushing”.
Actually, you are programming yourself to be a total Wussy nervous-wreck of a dork.
That’s right, folks!
I hate to shatter the fantasy.
I hate to be a buzz-kill, but you’re programming in more and more of that dangerous venom known as “NEEDINESS.”
You absolutely cannot have any attachment to the outcome, or it is game over.
GAME OVER!
Remind yourself constantly that she is only a POTENTIAL partner, and that you have no attachment.
And repeat the mantra, “I am enough.”
THIS is how you begin to open your heart. It is one of the MANY habits that you need to break if you ever want to learn this mysterious, controversial new thing called “Unconditional Love.”
The other thing I wanted to mention is that taking responsibility and BLAMING YOURSELF are two different things, and we tend to confuse the two (which causes us to retreat whenever we think about opening our hearts).
That means that when you approach a woman with the best of intentions, as in, you want to hold her and love her…
If she isn’t receptive to that sort of thing, micro-analyzing your behavior and trying to determine where YOU WENT WRONG is unhealthy.
There you go again, closing your heart, and analyzing your “game”!
The heart is not a game.
Do yourself, and every woman you meet in this next week a favor, and start taking responsibility instead.
That means that instead of blaming yourself and your behavior, instead of going, “Well I laughed at my own joke and that’s lame and I leaned in and I shook her hand too tight and I wasn’t breathing in perfect synchronicity with her chest movements”…
Try taking responsibility instead and going inside to answer the following counter-intuitive questions:
“Why did I set this up? What’s the wisdom? What is the lesson I need to learn here so that I never have to set this up again and feel bad about myself?”
I don’t know what the answers will be. They will vary.
Maybe you need to remember that if she has no sense of humor it isn’t your fault.
Maybe the wisdom is simply, “I need to own my own strength and stop giving my power away.”
Or maybe it is, “I met that woman because I needed to learn how to start walking away from women with boyfriends. Once I learn it I will stop attracting needy women who blame everything on the man in their lives and go out to cheat on him.”
I don’t know what the wisdom will be for you personally, but I don’t know what looking at the world this way leads to peace, bliss, and everything else that all those enlightened guru’s talk about…
And what will happen is you will start being able to open up your heart and having zero NEEDINESS, zero ATTACHMENT to the outcome.
Thanks for reading.