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An anti-advice column. ‘A charming Brazilian writer found on the Internet.’ February, 2018. I’m terrible at relationships. You shouldn’t look to me for advice. You should seek out someone who has been

People are not really talking about slavery when they talk about slavery. Peak District, UK. 2012. Slavery exists in our contemporary imagination as an opportunity for sexualised fantasies of power and

Just like a real woman it makes you nut too fast, he thought. Just like a real woman it makes you pull out. The fucksleeve came in the mail on a Tuesday. Just like a real woman it took forever to come,

All empires fall. The American one is already well into its terminal phase. America has its flaws. Countless books examine them, but they often conclude their grim analyses with a chapter on “how to make

The art world, illustrated. Judy Fiskin, the American artist and professor of photography and media at the California Institute of the Arts, stands on stage before an auditorium three-quarters full. Judy

Banish the phrase from yoga classes, wellness retreats, and the potions aisle in Whole Foods. German city of Dresden in 1945 — Deutsche Fotothek Blick vom Rathausturm Millennials love the idea of reliving

There are two people, twelve years later, whose names, numbers and addresses I could recite for you. I still might kill them some day. You’re sitting there in a tiny cubicle in a moldy beige room with

To imply that our increased interest in that country’s affairs has anything to do with the suffering of the people is an obvious lie. Hello! My name is Adam Tod Brown, and I’m a comedy writer, as if that

We are desperate to believe that there is something solid and real in the gaping maw beneath us, something besides teeth and oblivion. But there isn’t. Fall of the Damned into Hell, Hieronymus Bosch, 1490.

I liked A. You couldn’t help but like her. But B frightened me. And this is really more of a B story… (“Crying Spider”, Odilon Redon 1881) Hello. My name is Randy. I am an alcoholic. I have been clean

Making sure everyone knows you’re evil using text alone. DISCLAIMER: No identification with actual humans or humanity or kindness or justice or goodness is intended or should be inferred. I got a job on

On not living in a fantasy world of unjustified self-importance. I was living in a fantasy. Holy. Beautiful. Full of laughter. But masked by sadness and a prescription of antidepressants. It’s funny how

A young man—living in a trailer in Beverly Hills—sees something horrific while bartending for his wealthy employer. (Photo: Tim Barnett) The following is an excerpt from I Don’t Want, a new book of poetry

“I really enjoy you white trash girls,” he said, before rubbing his face all over my chest. He looked like clip art of the old, bald town drunkard, shoulders hunched forward and a daft smile on his half

I’m teaching myself to be more violent. Both for my success and a greater sense of world peace. My models for this path are Mahandas Karamchand Gandhi, leader of the Indian independence movement in

A Publishing House for the Blockchain Age Traditional publishers are in decline. They beg us to subscribe, plaster ads all over their content, and dress up other ads as content. They prey on our anger,

A literary exegesis of the most important novel of our time. Editor’s note: this 2012 review is based on the eBook Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon, which contained the entire 50 Shades of

HOW TO SELL COCAINE TO ASSHOLES IN LOS ANGELES IN ORDER TO WRITE GOODER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER BY: DG ALLIN They asked Faulkner what’s the best job for a writer, in order to maintain a flow of day to day

The value of work is less than zero. BY DELICIOUS TACOS I was sixteen and my mom made me get a job. Again. Learn the value of work. She was right, it’s a lesson I retain decades later: the value of work

From Marxism to Personal Responsibility in 7,000 Words Welcome to Dr. Jordan B. Peterson’s world(view). Over the past year and a half I have transformed from an avowed militant-Marxist with a penchant