I am not worth it.
I am not important.
I do not exist.
I have been saying these things to myself for years, to the point when they stopped being an idea and became a state.
Establishing what is your worth is not an easy process. It certainly wasn’t for me. It’s painful. It’s challenging. It’s confronting. I did not realize it then, but I realize it now- the path to true self-discovery was never supposed to be easy. People say “what comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy”. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m significant enough to last.
The concept of value a person attributes to themselves depends to a very large extent on the perception of others. It resembles a puzzle, where every person and every event represents a piece of the puzzle. In the end only one person can see the whole picture for what it really is- that person is YOU.
After a lot of tears and agony I have endured in my life, I understood that, I do not have control over what life wants to teach me. But I have control over what I can learn. I am strong enough to learn now.
If you’re struggling with your self-worth, know that you’re not alone, I am here for you.
This book is my attempt to reach out to people like me. People who are in a difficult relationship with themselves.
Don’t be afraid to acknowledge how you really feel. This was the first step on the path of healing for me. If it hurts, allow it to hurt. Do not dismiss your pain, because it matters. It means that you are alive.
In this book you will not find any cliches like “Just feel good about yourself!” or “Drop your negative self-talk and be positive!”, mainly because we live in the real world and life can get pretty ugly sometimes.
What if you reached rock bottom?
What if rock bottom feels 1,000 miles above where you are?
What if you can barely scrape yourself out of bed every morning?
What if you don’t even care whether you live another day?
How do you just feel good about yourself?
All these questions may seem like the frightening reality now but know, that this is going to be a journey. The process you begin in this book is only going to be the first of many, many steps. The path is not always going to be easy or straightforward and there are going to be moments you’re convinced you’re going backwards. Know that all of this is normal. Your journey doesn’t need to be perfect, it only needs to be yours. Whatever happens along the way, accept is as a part of your custom-made training that has prepared for you. Don’t put pressure on yourself to take too big of a leap: you’re not going to go from despair to rock-solid confidence overnight.
Being whole doesn’t mean being perfect. Our imperfections makes us unique. Our scars are a proof that we fought and we still fight. They are badges of honor, not signifiers of failure.
If you can commit to doing the best you can for yourself each day, you care already doing the hardest part of jobs.
What is the feeling of having self-worth exactly? It’s the ability to support yourself. It’s trusting yourself to be your own best friend. It’s being able to tell yourself the truth without judgment. It means having a clear, stable sense of self, which includes being in touch with how you feel and knowing your boundaries. You know when to push yourself and when to give yourself a break. Your sense of self-worth isn’t vulnerable to the opinions of others. You know when to say no, when to protect your own time, and when to stick up for and ask for what you need. It’s knowing you deserve your own time, care, and attention. It’s the ability to be compassionate toward yourself. Why not begin your journey back to yourself today? what is holding you back?
so let’s start the conversation.
I feel comfortable with being the imperfect human being that I am today, because this means I have room to improve. You too can embrace your imperfections, because they only mean you are a work in progress.
You are not alone, we are in this together!
Valerie Jam
