Author: @ilhem.djaballah (80% payout)
"There is a culture. There is nature. But there is consciousness, and its elaboration—self-consciousness—and these may well play an important role in human destiny", said Jordan Peterson . Human beings are not determined by culture and nature only but most importantly consciousness. Animals do not have to believe that they are worthy of living to survive however we humans do.
It's not what you are that is holding you back. It's what you think you are not. Self-esteem is the disposition of experiencing one's self as confident to cope with life's challenges and as worthy of happiness. The term became fashionable in the last century due to the rise of entrepreneurship. However, it became vaguely defined and a call for many wrong interpretations, such as the belief that the early stages of our lives eternally determined our lives, being entitled to feel good all the time and a call for quick fixes to avoid responsibility.
According to Nathanial Branden, the writer of the six pillars of self-esteem, the concept is built up upon two foundations self-respect and self-efficacy. On one hand, self-respect is synonymous with dignity and deserving to be treated properly by ourselves and others. On the other hand, self-efficacy batters victim mentality because it is based on the belief that we can think and learn what needs to be learned to create the life that we want.
Low self-esteem mostly originates in childhood from disappointing authority figures who fail at encouraging their children and preoccupied caregivers who nurture the feeling of not being enough and forgotten. Also, over-protective parents who leave their children no shield to face life's adversities makes an insecure adult. The culture of blaming the victim makes people settle for abuse and unable to stand up for themselves. Finally, social media continues to show us unrealistic beauty standards and an algorithm that shows us the 5% people at the top who share only the happy third of their lives.
People with low self-esteem are usually characterized by:
It is important to know that self-esteem is about you and how you feel about yourself not about how you feel about yourself and everybody's achievements.
There are different ways to enhance your self-esteem:
Self-responsibility :
Self-awareness as a form of self-care:
P.S: words like stupid, weak, dump... etc, are vague and therefore it must not be validated.
Check my article about self-awareness for further tips:
"Finding Thyself"
Self-acceptance as a precondition to self-awareness:
Understanding Your Problem Is Half the Solution
The practice of self-integrity:
Acting against self-integrity is a performance of self-betrayal. Steven Pressfield in the War of Art said, "Most of us have two lives the life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance"
According to Nietzsche, we have two selves, a higher self and self. Our higher self calls for us if we fail to answer it, it will keep chasing you and looking down on you.
You can hide from everyone and everything but your self.
Do not let negative feedback define you:
“Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.”― John Dewey
People with high-level neuroticism and low-level openness and extroversion, often suffer low self-esteem problems.
Books:
The six pillars of self-esteem_Nathaniel Branden
12 rules for life_Jordan B Peterson
Further research:
The psychology of self-sabotage and Resistance
The idea of the shadow by Carl Jung to expand you repertoire about consequences of self-rejection.
