WE #154: Please, Remember Me This Way

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I am aware of how unkind I have been to others. Some of the individuals who will testify to my genuine character are some of my closest friends. But be assured that doesn't mean I'm exceptionally bad. My sense of them varies greatly depending on the individual. If they don't respect me, I'll continue acting in the same manner. If I ever learn that they are betraying me, I will act in the same way. Simply my disbelief in the proverb "kill them with kindness", I don't always do it, however. As I became older, I realized that I shouldn't be a kind to others, particularly if I'm being deceived.

To the people I befriended and annoys me..

I'm sure that the only things they'll remember about me till I'm gone since so many people have seen my horrible conduct. Maybe they were satisfied in the days leading up to my funeral, and maybe some of them were still having delight.

But even if I've behaved harshly, I'm aware of the good I've done for other people. I'm hoping that people will still recognize my outstanding efforts. I'm aware that I've been a little self-centred in the past, but to be really honest, I've only just understood the value of saving money for oneself, particularly in situations when I know that nobody else would be able to assist me.

I'm very sorry for the people I impacted and the things I didn't share, but I'm just trying to get by right now. I wanted you to know that despite having my own struggles, I did all I could to support all of you. For those who claimed that I snobbed them, I really apologize if you feel that way. I don't want you to go through that. Simply put, I know I can't manage your situation any longer, and I feel like I'm spoon-feeding you too much. Sincerely, I genuinely want to be there for you, but the first step in support is helping yourself.

I also apologize to anyone to whom I said unkind words. I understand that what I said to you has caused you a great deal of pain, but in all honesty, I simply want you to know the truth and realize what is true. I sincerely apologize if I ever dismissed your emotions, and I hope you will always keep in mind all the ways in which I helped you discover the truth.

I hope that everyone who knows me will continue to recall the more good aspects of my character. I'm hoping you will forgive me as I pass away so that my soul may rest in peace. Please keep in mind a friend of yours who is available at all times and is always available by phone. You understand that I can't simply say no to you, so when I refuse, you will sulk. Please keep in mind that I balance my life since I also want to have happiness; I didn't mean to ignore you. I hope that you have learned a lot from me as well, particularly how to be optimistic and not fear life's hardships. You are aware that I am always the stronger; therefore, even if we engage in conflict, I will dominate. I'm hoping that by doing this, you'll keep in mind how strong I am.

For those friends who are still here and accept my true personality, thank you and always remember that this personality I have makes me a better version of myself. Thank you for giving me suggestions and pieces of advice. And I hope that I'll be remembered as one of your truest and most genuine friend.