There are many Christian women who are always indisposed to sex with their spouse. It's either they're pissed, complaining of tiredness, or nagging that their husband likes sex too much.
Most of these ladies expect their husband to act "christianly" with sex. The word christianly does not refer to being discipline. It's a way to say that he shouldn't want sex as though he is not born again or like an unregenerated man.
So each time he comes to her for sex, she either reluctant cave in after cussing and murmurings or shrugged off his touches and say "Later" or "I'm tired."
This behaviour is widely responsible for some cases of adultery in some Christian homes, even though it shouldn't be.
I'm sharing along this line because someone asked if abuse is a permissable ground for divorce.
First and foremost, abuse is broad-scale – it could be physical, emotional or both.
Physical abuse is battering and verbal assaults, while emotional is adultery, sexual deprivation or rape. I want to address an aspect of emotional abuse. And women are mostly guilty of it.
In 1 Corinthians 7:3, the scripture says, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband."
In newer English, what the passage is saying is, the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
What are these duties? Sex, emotional support, etc.
The word "duty" is opheilēn in the Greek. It means debt. In other words, married people owe their spouse a debt of sex, affection, attention and physical support.
It's an obligation. If you are married and you fail to discharge these duties, you are abusing your marriage. And it is called emotional abuse.
Once a person is unwilling to discharge the functions of marriage, she's invariably abusing it. That's what it is.
Sex is one of the foremost obligations of two people in marriage. As a woman, if you're obsessed against sex because you were sexually violated by a relative or boyfriend, don't get married until you are psychologically ready.
Secondly, if you don't like certain things about your husband and it's affecting how open you are to him for sex, discuss the issue and find a solution with him.
Don't allow issues like this to drag for too long. Most men are like toddlers in reasoning when it comes to sex. If they are denied food at home or on time, they either eat in their neighbour's home or pick it from the floor and eat.
That's why some men sleep with the maids in the house. As disgusting as it may seem, that's what they could do because they are like toddlers in reasoning.
There are just few men who can withstand emotional abuse or when being sexually starved in marriage. But whichever way, emotional abuse is not something to mete out to your spouse. It's wrong.
Let's be guided. A word is enough for the wise. See you soon. Thanks for your time.
