SITUATION
I feel that nobody understands me. I feel very lonely. The relatives on my mother’s side are trash. They like to humiliate people. My dad's relatives do not love him since he was born, so I do not know those people. All the time I have felt that neither my parents love me. One day my father told me I'm horrible. My mother places her sisters, nephews etc before me. When I was little they never cared for me. I do not have friends. Not even one. Many have betrayed me. I do not feel comfortable where I study. Since I was little, I had bad luck with friends. And I'm not sociable. I was always very shy. Those who know me hate me without having done anything to them. Could you give me some advice?
ADVICE
The feeling of loneliness is very painful, but it holds great learning about ourselves. First, we must remember that spirituality invites us to change ourselves first so that our interpretation of others changes. This is because many of the things that happen to us are illusions created by our egos. The need for the love of specific people such as our family members is exhausting and does not allow us to seek true love in other people who want to give it to us. People who deny love to someone are people who have not healed past traumas and are fed by your reactions. Not giving love to others causes the reaction they need to feel good about themselves as it feeds their egos. The fact that you need his love so insistently also shows that you have wounds from your past or caused by this same situation. One way to let go of hatred and resentment of your relatives is to understand that they suffer internally because of their own pain and are blind to the chain of causes and effects that they must be carrying. They also suffer the weight of their traumas and this takes away their peace. They lost their peace the moment they suffered that trauma and, because they cannot find it, they retaliate their frustration with someone who reacts to their behavior. If you stop reacting to their comments and their lack of love, eventually they will stop insisting.
It is this same situation that could be causing you not to have good friends since you could be used to having high expectations for the lack of love you have at home. We must love people for what they are, and their shortcomings should be seen through the compassion that you feel knowing that they also have wounds to heal. The world is full of people who do not find the peace they lost especially in their childhood. When you stop obsessing over their faults, you learn to see their virtues and to create true friendships. However, you have the right to keep your space when your family or friends are acting alone through their injured egos. You must also take care of your peace. In those moments just do not give them what they are looking for, your reaction, and offer them your help only if they ask for it. Also enjoy your moments of solitude as they are the moments of complete peace for your being.
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