My nights were passionate, although I did not possess with me the physical warmth of someone. My dreams interrupted a musical harmony that increased like a magic bridge. Within the vagaries of desire, thousands of arms and feathers lined up to caress me, until one of them began to take the form of an angelic being beating along the sand of reverie.
I could only see her back to me and could almost touch her silver hair, but the grains of sand swirled into a wall and blocked my way. I was sinking into a deep tunnel where grace ceased to be an element, and quickly lost the pleasure of sanity to spasms of dread.
I woke up, it was still early morning. I live in front of a pier where the sound of the waves is so faint and soothing. It caresses the eardrums like the sweet soft voice of a woman. It's been a long time since I've tasted the holy flesh of youth. My body is bathed in salt and sun and my skin is wrinkled over time. My white beard is like coral and my exhausted eyes are like two small dark pools.
As a good sailor, I have much love for the sea, and although I know that someday it will bring me death, I prefer that to a life in solitude, buried underground and devoured by vermin. I like to become a drowned being, with my lungs full of salt water and my soul submerged.
Since my first boat, I have always had a particularity that invades me. It is like a fantasy that suddenly took my thoughts and beat me with them. Like the sound of a large rock falling into the sea; in a movement so slow that you can glimpse the water leaping over the surface, I succumbed to drained strange words, and there began my spell.
It's a mermaid, I know it! Her voice comes from the depths. Her words are unspeakable in wakefulness and only in sleep can I repeat them. She uses the sky as her own wide and deep ocean, and when she tires of flight, she transforms and returns to the embrace of the waters.
I've been chasing her since I was an unwary youth, I've been tied to this dock for decades and now old age completes my sentence. Oh, will I ever get my reward? A kiss, a caress, I'll even settle for a real word out of the world of dreams.
My eyelids won't let me demand rest, but my heart doesn't slow down; it's still as young as those days when I faced the fury of the high seas. Neptune and one of his daughters drove me mad, but I'm not ready to faint yet.
One afternoon, as I sailed those bewitching waters, I made my last catch and then finished with a prayer. The sun was setting, giving way to dusk. The stars so boldly took their exact positions, and the moon again sat on her beautiful throne.
I decided to surrender my anchor and await the arrival of some omen. The waves were silent for a long time. The wind was as calm as a child contemplating the beach. The silence enveloped everything visible and left me in suspense. I spent a very long time sunk in my thoughts while the cold slowly crept up my feet.
Suddenly, there was a light that covered me like a veil. I looked up and noticed the shape of a glowing circle, and from within it, huge wings descending. It was her! She had taken the shape of a bird this time. She landed on the bowsprit and began to walk slowly toward me.
Her eyes were as dark as the ocean at night. Her hair and feather were silver. And her fine face, as intimidating as it was, seemed beautiful to me. Oh, I was not afraid! That perhaps was what doomed me, if I had I might have fled, but instead, an uncontrollable rage tamed my body in search of an answer.
I took my harpoon and aimed at her, but I hesitated to hurt her. I stood before her like a statue about to be devoured by the cold. She did nothing, not even a hint of flinching.
Answers! I just want answers! Why me? Why me? Why me? Why so long? Who are you?
My thoughts spoke to her as if she could hear them. I fell into deep despair and then broke down in tears. As the first tear fell to the ground, she suddenly spread her wings and I was blinded by the surrounding light. I opened my eyes slowly, she was in front of me. The feathers had left her body, but her silver hair remained.
She stroked my cheek gently with her fingers. I closed my eyes slowly as if under the effects of some ecstasy, and that's when I understood everything. She was preparing me for this moment, she wanted to know how long I would resist. Oh, blessed solitude and blessed time, have I already fallen into dementia? If so I don't care, I've waited decades for my reward, and at last, it's here, I'll live with her wherever she takes me.
Once I touched her body, it was like entering a tunnel, leading me deeper and deeper into the abyss until finally there was only darkness. Now..., now I belong to the foam of the sea.
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