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The union of these different individuals who are most times (if not always) from different backgrounds, poses a lot of challenges to the expected success and progress of the marriage. Very many couples do not seem to grasp the implications of this until after the honeymoon.
It ought not to be
The two people fell in love, get married, proceed to enjoy a delightful honeymoon with lots of glamour, fan fare and fun in and out of the bedroom.
This momentous and very exciting period ends (yes, of course, it cannot continue). Then they settle into their life together. Soon, they start to realise that they have their expectations regarding each other's role as couples.
This is should be a normal and perfect situation.
But unfortunately, navigating through this terrain, it is found that many couples don't get it right. As a result, it takes a dangerous tool on the marriage.
The tree things
Peep through these three important things and keep them in mind in order to avoid takes pitfalls.
Simply put, your marriage, which should be till death do you part, is yours and not parents, siblings, relatives, friends or even your Pastor or Imam. Holding tenaciously unto preconceived notions or expectations about marriage and marital roles other lead spouses to miss out on the uniqueness of what they each have. They get stocked into the vortex of what each gender is supposed to do and how and how they are not pulling their weight and, in trying to squeeze each other into these roles, they plunge themselves into mucky waters like a misery.
Solution
Discuss these your expectations practically without judgement. Be ready to adapt and make your marriage truly yours.
As humans, it is easier, often times, to focus on each other's weaknesses or flaws. However, the truth remains that what you focus on is definitely what is magnified. Don't be caught with this. Therefore, why not focus on what each of you bring to the table. It's a handsome way to fill your life and marriage with joy unspeakable. If you focus on the unmet and elusive expectations and shortcomings, that will only create very negative energy that will soon erode the joy in the family. Always look out for where improvement can be made, don't give more attention to each other's weakness.
If couples genuinely assessed each other's strength they will derive happiness in their marriage. After knowing their strength they should come up with ways of workable senergy.
Work together always in virtually everything, including finances. Be strong where your partner is weak. Hi
This is a marital success therapy, don't ignore it. I'm speaking from practical experience of well over two and half decades.
It is commonly said he who comes to equity must come with cleans hands, and if you want someone to trust you, you must help him to do so. That's are golden sayings that have stood the test of time.
Traditionally, the man (husband) is gifted at making money - to enable him provide for the home. While the woman (wife) is gifted in home keeping, raising the children - this is a perfect balance. In real life actually, things aren't cut and dried. In some homes, men find themselves with wives who are better at making money than themselves. And vice versa, some women find out that their husbands are better in home or domestic chores and care of children.
It has been discovered that the dynamics we have been taught to accept as laws guiding everything in marriage doesn't apply in most cases.
In any case, every individual coupe has a choice which is unique in each sense. Settle down and Stick to those ideals that are workable and suits your own union or family.
###Conclusion
To have a fulfilled marital life, don't waste time fighting those ills and negative waves, instead ride them to your mutual advantage. Start learning very early how to synchronize your differences, create a beautiful and joyous symphony. Then, with God, you are sure of having a joyful marriage.
From the desk of Udu Ben, a marriage enthusiast and counselor.
