In the clutches of a forceful stillness was not a place I expected to be in this week, but its the place I go when shit gets real...
A very dear friend and mother figure lays in hospital with an extremely high and irregular heartbeat.
A twenty year relationship damaged by recent bouts of false generosity and blatent manipulation lays heavy on my mind.
My Father knowingly/unknowingly continues to force disruption and unneccessary upset in my direction.
The bank is wanting its arrears settled whilst we look to sell our vehicle to ease the load.
My son restless and with fever continues to cut new teeth and disrupt precious sleep.
Desperate friends come to us for support, wanting us to say those insightful things again or repeat them to their loved ones so it creates the shift toward stability in their own lives.
And how do we help our selves? How do we find stability?
We help by forcibly being still.
If the Universe is taking my dear friend away then we are blessed for our time together, if our friends and family are shifting to allow new growth and heartfelt connections with others then thats fine too.
The stillness however feels hard, its rigid - I am trying to soften into it. I could not forsee all these things presented to me now.
If the sound of the clock ticking is driving you crazy - take out the battery, remove it from the room and give yourself space. Softly and steadily breathe in breathe out and repeat. Remember who you are and who you are not.
During these times of uncertainty I am still, I am here, I am now and thats ALL I need to be doing.
I hope this post has the ability to help someone in someway it feels good to share. Thankyou.
Blessings on your journey however it may be presenting to you.
x
