Hello Hives,
Let's be honest, jealousy is one of those feelings that can show up in a relationship even when you don't want it to.
You may trust your partner, love them deeply, and still feel somehow uncomfortable when you see them getting very close to someone else.
Pixabay
I have always found that interesting.
Some people believe jealousy is proof that someone really loves you. They might say, “If he doesn't get jealous, then he doesn't care,” or “She is jealous because she loves me.”
But is that really true?
I personally don't think jealousy automatically means love.
Sometimes it is love. Sometimes it is fear. And sometimes, it is simply insecurity.
Imagine seeing your partner laughing and having a good conversation with someone else. Maybe nothing is happening, but something inside you starts saying, “Who is this person?” 😂
Before you know it, you are asking questions you did not even plan to ask.
I think that feeling is normal to some extent. We are human beings after all. We have emotions. We don't always get to choose what we feel.
The important part is what happens after the feeling comes.
If I feel jealous, does that mean I should start checking my partner's phone every five minutes? Should I tell them who they can talk to, where they can go, or who they can be friends with?
That's where I think things can become unhealthy.
There is a difference between saying, This situation does not make me comfortable, and trying to control another person because you are afraid of losing them.
And honestly, insecurity can make jealousy much worse.
Sometimes the problem is not even your partner. You may start comparing yourself with someone else. Maybe the person is richer, more attractive, more confident, or simply has something you think you don't have.
Then your mind starts creating stories.
That kind of jealousy can steal your peace if you allow it.
At the same time, I don't believe we should ignore every feeling and simply say, “I trust my partner.” If someone's behaviour keeps giving you genuine reasons to be uncomfortable, then there may be something that needs to be discussed.
For me, the goal should not be to completely remove jealousy. The goal should be learning how to handle it without allowing it to destroy trust.
Love needs trust, communication and freedom.
Because if someone has to constantly prove their love to you, at some point the relationship can start feeling more like a prison than a home.
Thanks for Reading