Letters to kiddo, Page 1

“Uuhm, yes who am I talking to?” I froze when I heard the rich deep voice on the other end of the line. But why did I have to freeze?? I mean I’m the one who had just dialled that number! “Matt” I finally managed to say, “I have made up my mind, I am really crazy over you! I can’t contain this, I’m head over heels, plea—”. “Trish?!” Oh yeah, so he actually knew who it was. “Stop!” he added, and I must admit, coming from Matt that was a quite disturbing tone. “You know that can’t happen anymore, I’ve moved on!” Had he just said that to me?? Why would anyone move on in such a short time? “Trish” he continued, “I loved you despite your issues but you chose to trample over my heart and now I have an awesome girlfriend and……” I zoned out at that adjective “awesome”, awesome really?? “I don’t care Matthew! I—-”. “It’s been two years for crying out loud Trish!” he interrupted me, “Don’t play with my emotions like that!” he concluded sounding really agitated. “Two years??” I was shocked, I must have hibernated or something at some point because I seriously could not remember the two years that Matt was talking about. I opened my mouth to say something only to realise that it would have just turned into a soliloquy since Matt had already hung up on me.

I have been sitting here for about two hours now, wondering how it has all come to this. The last I checked I did the dumping but of late I seem to be more of the victim if anything at all. What makes everything worse right now is it’s on the 1st of a “love” month! February is really depressing, especially if you are single! (even worse when your partner is not the generous type- just had to put it in a diplomatic way). I sigh as look at my baby who is peacefully lying on her bed and wish to like her, with no worries whatsoever in life. A lot is on my mind now particularly the conversation I just had with Matt and funny enough all that stands out is the “awesome girlfriend” part. Couldn’t he have found any other word to use there or better yet just refer to her as ‘girlfriend’? I mean who cares how awesome she is, if at all. Did he really have to rub it in? Besides, his claim that I had trampled over his heart wasn’t entirely true, I’m sure anyone in my shoes would have done the same. I did it for him, but now I truly regret my selflessness. Truth be told Matt has a killer voice, the type that would tell you to go jump off a cliff and likewise, you would gladly run towards your death. I still could feel the chill that came with his “Trish” and it made me smile… don’t judge, call me crazy but I call it love. And all this drama in my love-life gets me wondering; is love over or underrated???

Not until now have I realised that I have actually been trying to cry this out but clearly, I can’t. My teary glands have already manufactured enough tears for a lifetime and now they are retired. I had never realised the importance of crying until now, yeah you know what they say about realising the importance of something after losing it, guess this is one of those realisations. I really need to detox but what to do now? Wait, I have an idea!

It’s usually the people who are on their deathbed (and of course still have the energy) who write letters to their children, but I choose to be different or maybe it’s really not a choice right now since my life feels like a blob of tangled thread and I figured scribbling it down might help. Instead of just writing it away, I’m thinking of making something productive of it, I’ll write these letters to you kiddo. Whether you’ll use them as leverage or lessons; that my child is entirely up to you.

So now that I have the pen and paper, I don’t know whether to start from the start-start or the middle-start… guess I’ll start from the middle-start, you have no business knowing everything about your mother. Anyway, it all started at a birthday party (typical teen story? – I know right, but mine is different, well everyone else says that right? Whatever, I am going to write it anyway, I have already set myself to do it, besides, technically, I am on my deathbed!). The only reason I had managed to attend that party is because your grandparents had decided to slacken a little bit in raising me. Actually, it’s all their fault, they had no right letting me attend my own birthday party! Yep, it’s called the blame game and don’t judge me because I know by the time you read this, you would have played it a million times and probably even more after reading this, but like I said how you handle this information is entirely up to you. My side of the story says your grandparents were too busy focused on building their own empire than on me. That might be a little biased but hey I’m the one writing, so I have every right to be biased, if anybody else doesn’t fully agree with this, then they should get themselves a pen or whatever tablet and write their own side of the story!

Fine, forget what I initially said about my parents because it’s not entirely true, they are good people and above all great parents. They hardly, if at all, allowed us to attend any social events any time after our curfew which was at 7pm. They were strict when they needed to be, no wonder they did such great job raising us and by us I mean my siblings. It just so happened that on the day of the party they were in a good mood because they were celebrating their long waited success. Their business proposal had just been accepted after 5years of being rejected, talk about patience. Your grandparents are quite hardworking, they had started at less than nothing but now have successfully built themselves a legacy… oh how I wish that you take after them! Anyway, I don’t want to get too lost so I’ll continue with my story: I had asked to sleep over at a friend’s place, which was really not far from the truth, oh well the truth that I knew. The sleepover was at my friend’s place and they knew her well but if it wasn’t for the good mood they were in on that particular day, the outcome could have been different. How I wish it had! Honestly, my parents are really unpredictable, I could never know when and how to charm them into saying yes to my requests. Again, too much talk on my parents, this is about me so I’ll bring back the spotlight to myself. So after being granted the permission, I rushed over to my friend’s place. I wasn’t leaving any room for them to change their minds. When I got to her place, she quickly gave me a dress to wear and told me we were going out. That’s when all the excitement she had exhibited when I had called her earlier to confirm I would be there in a few made sense. I mean, I knew she loved me but certainly not that much.

Without wasting much time, I adorned myself as royalty, and by the time I was ‘done’ the taxi was already waiting for us outside. I was a bit nervous because we had agreed never to do that again but hey, it was my birthday so exceptions could be made. We had done this a couple of times before, you know what they say about parents not being full proof, they can lock you in all day but they can never lock out the mischief from you. But just so we are clear, I’m not every parent! After about 30mins we reached our destination but half the time I was distracted by trying to polish up on my makeup. I mean I was in an exquisite dress, (you know how other people’s clothes suit you better than your own) so I had to match it up. But anyway that is typical me, I never finish dressing up on time, no matter where I’m going and that’s why Linda wasn’t bothered by it. Pardon my manners, I am not good with introductions, Linda is the friend’s name and unfortunately you will never meet her, explaining why will only deviate my story so I’ll stick to narrations rather than explanations. As we entered the mysterious destination we were greeted by a mob cheerfully shouting “surprise!!!”

*first appeared on my wordpress blog site (Trycolyn Lynttp)