I don't have the best track record, when it comes to relationships. I always seem to attract and fall for the wrong men. It took, a long time for me to understand that and to realise that I needed to heal myself, if I wanted to experience a better relationship.
Awareness is so important, being aware of your own triggers and your pain. And having a willingness to heal. With that awareness comes honesty. Being open and honest, with yourself, only then can you really be honest with someone else.
To be brave enough, to be authentic, to understand how we need to make ourselves happen. For sure, others can make us happy, but your happiness should not depend on whether you are in a relationship or not. We need to take more responsibility for our own lives, for our own needs. Waiting for some one to fix things.
We have got to fix ourselves. Feel complete by oneself.
Or at the very least, begin the journey towards it. Because relationships will always be challenging at times. Two separate beings, meeting, intertwining, it brings so much with it, this meeting of two souls, finding their way together. Willing to really see one another, to listen to each other, to accept one another.
But you have to do the work, if you want to get to that place. And that is kind of scary, but also, oh so liberating.
My advice for relationships? Focus on the relationship you have with yourself first. That is the most important one. Then you can attract the person that will continue to grow alongside you. I am saying this, not yet in such a relationship. But I feel like, this has been a very important part of my journey. Coming to this understanding.
Respecting one another. Creating space for one another, together and apart. Holding on to who you are, to the person you are becoming. Allowing them to do the same. That is perhaps one of the most challenging parts of any relationship, is being able to accept each other. Both the light and the dark that resides within us all.
Seeing each other through the shit times and the good times. Being real with one another. Always been real with one another, about how you feel, what you need and listen. Listening is really important, really important. Feeling heard. It really says a lot.
Actions really are louder than words, to be active together, to be creative together. To do fun things together, to have fun together. To give each other space, this is so important, I had to say it twice. Space to grow.
(The images used in this post, are mine.)