How do you know you are in a codependent relationship?
Codependency is one of the biggest challenges most of us deal with in connections. That sensation that we can't exist without the other individual and that their presence and recognition is what makes us feel happy and complete. Codependency blocks us from being our best selves and also prevents the capacity for more progress in the relationship.
Signs of being in a codependent relationship
1. You cannot live without the other person.
I know, this is expected to be romantic, but it's not, it's excessive which is different from a connection. It's not attractive, and it's not satisfying. Acknowledge your wholeness so that you can truly enjoy the other person in your life instead of being half of a person who is insufficient without someone else; you are the cake-- everything else is the icing.
2. The other individual should act in a particular method.
For you to feel loved or for you to love them, the other person should be who we require them to be. This is conditional love, not unconditional love, which doesn't let the other person to be who they truly are, your joy is dependent on them being how you desire them to be.
3. You rely on others for how you feel.
We are responsible for how we feel, and it's not someone else's obligation to make us pleased. We make ourselves happy very first so that others can make us delighted.
4. You play caregiver.
A healthy connection is in between two grownups, not two kids or one kid and one "mom/dad". When we are or taking care of somebody who is not taking care of themselves, it's dis-empowering for both individuals. When we spiritually mature, we discover the best ways to take care of ourselves, so someone else doesn't need to do it for us, and we can reside in our greatest fact, not as defenseless. We are all capable.
5. You're controlling results and circumstances.
When we are controlling the other individual or how things are unfolding, we are living in fear, not in love. Give up the connection, give up the other person's procedure and exactly what their choices are and rely on that everything will unfold if you enable it to do so.
6. You give from a place of lack.
We might be putting ourselves last and concentrating on the other person more than we do ourselves and we lose ourselves. This pattern originates from a lack of self-love when we try to give from an empty well, anger, and animosity can develop because we are not filling ourselves up.
7. You think your joy is asserted on the other person.
It's not. Our happiness is within when we stop looking for it in our partner and rather get in touch with ourselves in everyday practice, we connect to our real source within and that joy can overflow to the other individual, instead of making them our only source.
8. You hesitate.
Love is liberty. Rules and constrictions are fear. We must do what we want to do, not exactly what other individuals want us to do.
9. You believe you need to get the love you want.
Providing love is more important than getting love. You have a limitless source within you. It will come back to you tenfold.
How to Change a Codependent Relationship
Separating isn't always the best or only solution to repair a codependent relationship, it is necessary to set borders and discover happiness as a person.