So see me that I am not a horror movie lover, I had to watch this one, but thankfully I didn't watch alone, this movie there was a lot of cutting of heads, okay... Let me just tell you how it went.
I don't know who decided that this Friday night was the perfect time to introduce me to They Will Kill You, but here we are, from the title alone, I should have known what I was signing up for, yet somehow I still convinced myself it wouldn't be that bad.... it was that bad, In the best worst way possible, if that makes any sense.
The story follows a woman named Asia, an ex convict trying to get her life back on track, who answers a job ad to work as a housekeeper in this New York City high-rise called the Virgil, now, red flag number one, any building with that much mystery attached to it should never be somebody's first choice of employment, but Asia needed the job, and I understand desperation makes people do things they normally wouldn't, what she does not know walking in is that this building has a long, disturbing history of people disappearing without a trace, nobody warns her, nobody sits her down and says listen, before you sign anything, please Google this place first, she just walks straight into it.
And of course, it doesn't take long before she realizes something is deeply, terribly wrong,turns out the Virgil isn't just some old creepy building with bad energy, it's actually home to a whole cult, the kind that worships things I would rather not worship, and they don't just want a housekeeper, they want a sacrifice, that is when the real chaos begins, and I mean chaos in the most literal, blood everywhere sense of the word.
I sat there watching heads roll, and I mean that almost literally, because this movie did not hold back on the decapitations at all, every ten minutes, somebody was losing something, a limb, a head, their entire will to live, I actually grabbed whoever I was watching with more than once, because some of those jump scares came out of nowhere, timed perfectly to catch you when you least expect it, If you know me, you know I am the type to watch horror through my fingers, peeking just enough to know when it is safe to open my eyes fully again, and this movie tested that skill of mine to the limit.
But here's the thing that surprised me, underneath all that blood and chaos, there is actually a decent amount of dark humor woven in, It is not purely trying to terrify you the whole time, there are moments that are almost comedic, in a twisted sort of way, watching Asia fight for her life against this cult with a mix of sheer panic and reluctant resourcefulness, she is not your typical horror movie damsel just running and screaming, she actually fights back, and I respected that about her character, even while I was covering my eyes.
By the end, I was exhausted, not because the movie was long, but because I spent the whole runtime tense, waiting for the next thing to jump out or the next head to roll, would I watch this again on my own? Absolutely not, I need company for something like this, but I will not lie and say I wasn't entertained, because underneath all my complaining and flinching, I actually was, just don't ask me to watch anything like this alone, ever.
Rating: 85/100