When it comes to the whole issue of marriage, see the one thing I have realized is that the controversy will never end, and everybody has their own opinion , some people will say marriage is forever no matter what, some others will say once it starts shaking you should pack your load and go, but genuinely, as much as I believe marriage should be a lifetime commitment, I also believe there are some situations that should end it without anyone feeling guilty.
This whole "for better, for worse” line sounds sweet during wedding vows, but let’s just be honest here… is it everything you are supposed to endure? For better, for worse doesn’t mean for suffering, for disgrace, and for constant tears , people like to twist that part as if God said you must stay and die inside something that is draining your soul, Likeeeee doesn't make sense na.
For me, when the “worse” becomes abuse physically, emotionally, mentally, everything , that is already the end, there is no better-for-worse in pain, once hands start flying or insult becomes breakfast, lunch and dinner, what exactly are you staying to prove? That you can endure nonsense? That you can manage stress? No please, marriage is not a punishment, abeg o.
Also, when a relationship is no longer working in any kind of way, what exactly are you holding onto? Sometimes people remain married only because of society, or family expectations, or because of what others will say, but deep down, they know the thing has finished, they know the love has packed its box and left long ago, they know they are now living like roommates, not partners, and somehow, they still want to use “for better, for worse” as glue to hold a broken foundation.
For me, that kind of “worse” is also enough to walk away, staying in a marriage where both people are constantly unhappy doesn’t make you strong , it just makes life harder in alot of ways, marriage should bring peace, not panic, If you are always walking on eggshells, always feeling unloved, unwanted, unseen… what exactly are you staying to enjoy? You dey pay rent for suffering? Nah.....
Another thing people don’t talk about enough is emotional disconnect, Some marriages die quietly, without shouting or fighting, just two people who have stopped choosing each other, stopped trying, stopped caring, no teamwork, no support, no affection , just vibes and survival, That one too is a “worse” that can end a marriage, because how do you build a lifetime with someone who’s emotionally absent?
See I’m not saying run away at the slightest inconvenience, No not at all, Every relationship has issues you see, Marriage is work, two imperfect people trying to build something real, but there is a difference between normal challenges and situations that destroy your mental health.
So yes, marriage should ideally be for life, I believe that, but it takes two committed, loving, respectful people to make it work, once the “worse” becomes abuse, manipulation, disrespect, emotional neglect, or pain that never ends… honestly, that marriage has already ended emotionally, the physical exit is just the final step.
For better, for worse, yes.
But never for suffering, never for pain. never for the kind of “worse” that costs you your peace, your identity, or your life. Neverrr.
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