I'll never forget the day I severely overcaffeinated myself. It was a total nightmare that left me feeling absolutely wild and out of control. Let me take you through the harrowing experience, this happened years back when I worked as a secretary for a company after my high school.
It started innocently enough with a late night shawarma run. I hit up my favorite spot, Mallam Aminu's, and went a little overboard. Not only did I demolish a massive shawarma wrap, but I also downed three giant sugary drinks to go along with it. Little did I know, I was setting myself up for a caffeine-fueled disaster.
The first signs hit me on my morning commute to the office. My eyes were wide open, feeling like a night security guard scanning the premises. My legs shook uncontrollably, mimicking a mango tree swaying violently in the wind. To make matters worse, my head pounded and fizzed like a raging kilishi seller's pot of boiling oil and spices. It was as if I had recklessly ingested an entire batch of 'wake-up' beans.
When I arrived at work, I was in such a buzzed, amped up state that I started frenetically greeting everyone - my colleagues, the office plants, even inanimate objects! My mouth moved at a million miles per hour, words spilling out quicker than an okada driver dodging both FRSC and LASTMA officers simultaneously. My bewildered coworkers looked at me like I had completely lost my mind.
I took my agitated self over to my desk, my fingers maniacally clacking away at the keyboard like an overheated robot. Every tiny sound or movement made me startle and jump like a skittish Shayo crocodile hearing the dreaded footsteps of an Onitsha market porter. The caffeine had me utterly wired and on-edge.
Before I could get a grip, the unthinkable happened - I accidentally forwarded a very personal, overcaffeinated rambling email intended for my boyfriend to my entire office broadcast list! I'm pretty sure I explicitly overshared how the excessive caffeine had me feeling, well, quite amorous and aroused. It was mortifying! I had disgraced myself in spectacular fashion that day.
After work, I immediately crashed into a dead sleep, snoring louder than a failing tori-tori engine in need of a full overhaul. My mom must have thought I had turned into a full-time danfo conductor, as my thunderous snores shook the entire compound!
That dreadful day really drove home the unpleasant effects of caffeine overconsumption. Too much of anything is a dangerous game to play. I learned a valuable lesson about respecting one's limits and being more mindful about my intake of caffeinated products going forward.
The memory of that embarrassing, out-of-body experience still haunts me to this day. The sweaty palms, the auditory and visual hallucinations, the utter lack of filter - it was like I temporarily experienced a caffeine-induced psychosis! Never again will I underestimate the potent effects of excessive caffeine.
From that point on, I exercised far more caution and restraint with caffeinated beverages and foods. A simple morning cup of coffee or tea is typically the maximum I'll consume nowadays. Occasionally I'll still indulge in a sugary soda, but nothing even remotely approaching the shawarma-fueled caffeine overload of that nightmarish day.
My friends and family always get a kick out of hearing me recount the cautionary tale of when I allowed myself to get too wired and buzzy. It's a humbling reminder that even the most disciplined person can have messy lapses in judgment. Luckily, aside from some temporary jitters and embarrassment, no lasting damage was done.
So the next time you find yourself craving an energy drink, soda, or third cup of coffee, think of my overcaffeinated misadventure and pause for a moment of mindfulness. A calm, centered lifestyle is far preferable to the scary delirium of being dangerously over-caffeinated. Trust me on that one! I learned that lesson the hard way.
All images are mine
