As time goes on, my life turns into a series of accidents and misfortunes. At least, that's what I'm catching and realizing. Wherever I go, I suffer. The suffering is not leaving me behind. I feel pain for myself, which is unbearable. All I have ever wanted to do is do something for which I can be grateful. But now, it seems that it is my selfishness to try.
How was my childhood? Simply, less than good. I refuse to remember the hardships most of the time. But what I remember seems wrong to me. Society neglected my father, and my mother was not by his side. From a young age, I grew up taking care of myself. That's why maybe I can't make a new relationship. I have friends, but they are grateful that I am alive. They even encouraged me to take a detour.
For example, this morning, when I was walking down the street. Someone was saying something to me, but when I went back to see who it was, they hid everything from me. I wanted to cry, but soon I was numb. This is nothing new. Because these things have been happening to me all my life. I take care of myself; I'm tired of acting like this because I no longer have a life to take care of.
I understand what you think because these words have been told before. What are you still doing here? No, I'm not one of those people. I'm not committing suicide. I have not erased my existence; I do not want to change my identity. I want a single thing to make myself grateful. That was my real life before I found that girl.
Standing on the side of the road, I saw her for the first time in a rickshaw. All I could say when I saw her and my voice was "bah." I stood in amazement. When she came near me, she got off the rickshaw. She was walking gracefully and kept her head high. She seemed to know that God had been gracious to her.
She probably knows that every boy she sees will have a heartbeat. I was soaking wet and wearing an old T-shirt. I was given a reason to laugh, and she showed me the sunlight in the end. She was like a shining beacon to me; she shone in my dark life. She suddenly looked at me and screamed. I looked around to see if I had done anything wrong. But it was sure that she addressed me, she came in front of me and kept smiling. I smiled to myself and looked at her with fascination. She told me, I see you walking here every day.
So finally, I thought it was time to talk to you for a while. I was trying to understand her purpose. I wanted to tell her something, but all that came was stammering. Finally, she started laughing again, and I stared at her in confusion. She might kill me or say something that involved sex trafficking. But the more I looked at her, the more I could see the confidence in her eyes, and my life began to shine.
