Inside, the room was covered in stench; I badly hated this stench all the time; I do now and will hate it for the rest of my life. I have been familiar with this stench since 2016, and since then, I have hated it; it smells like a nightmare to me.
At midnight, the pungent smell of disinfectant is attacking my nostrils, making it difficult to breathe. But I have to endure it and stay here because I love the one lying in front of me more than my life. I can't sleep tonight because I have to stay awake until she wakes up—her little one, who had just fallen asleep crying. Two more people are sitting next to me who love her the most. I am not awake alone, but two other people wait for her to wake up. The last 24 hours were like a suffocating dream, wondering when I would be able to get out of this dream and see the sunny day.
Feeling tired, but not more than her. She's been going through it for the last four years; I can't imagine how difficult it is for her. My phone is out of the network, and I feel like I'm out of the world, in a nightmare. I haven't eaten in the last 10 hours, but I feel like I'm not hungry. But I am hungry, ravenous.
Suddenly my eyes were fixed on her compassion-filled face; I was staring at her and wondering, if she hadn't been in my life, could I have survived? Would my life have been so colorful? Would I be able to come so far today? What if he leaves me? I really can't make it alone. Suddenly I felt something on my cheek realized I was crying. At that moment, all-around became calm and quiet.
I remember as a child, our family was financially challenging most of the time. She sometimes had to borrow money for me, my educational expense. She never felt bothered over me. Now we are much more supportive than before; she doesn't have to borrow money from anyone else for anyone, but she is still lying in this smelly room today, and we are all awake.
All I want is for her to get up, watch the sunrise with us, perform the Fajr prayers like every day, call me for the morning prayers, make me breakfast, give some money in my hand while going to varsity, and tell me to be careful, all want is, eat dinner together, again.
Love you ammu!
