While as a kid, I knew no trouble, there where no heartache or headache. My only problem was my elder brother who would grab the TV remote control as it was our rule that the person who gets it first controls the TV, I would cry and yell just so mummy would hear my voice and beg my elder brother to allow me to my cartoon for some time even if he was supposedly in charge.
I had food to eat, lots of it, and mum again was in charge of the laundry, I remember her even bathing me at age 7 as I was still her only girl and last born at the time.
I had fewer responsibilities as I was subjected to just my portion of the house chores and then making good grades in school. Life was simply easy and beautiful.
Then, I remembered always imagining how being an adult would look like, I anticipated adulthood, and I anticipated being mature enough to find love and get married.
My wedding gown and how solely it would fit in with having a vail length as long as from Nigeria to America ad that was what played in my head😂.
I counted my age as it came hoping for age 18 to hurry quickly as it marked the beginning of adulthood..lol
Also then, I was thought about love in school while we read literature and stories that come with a happily ever after. We thought it was easy, absolutely thought love was beautiful with no sin attached.
Well, life hit me even before I clocked 18, I had already escaped teenage and knew real life. I got out of my shielded armor exactly when I clocked 16. I blew no candles of sweet 16 cakes rather it was me walking from door to door of my Neighborhood while I advised myself as a home lesson teacher ready to teach maths and English for 2,000 naira, a minimum of a dollar, and some fractions, to survive and help my family out in the little way I could.
Even then I was still very much naive to my surroundings and society. There's more to say as I could keep going on and on.
But I wouldn't stop yet not when I haven't explained how I met love. Emotions are feelings that we can't fathom especially in situations where our heart does the picking most times and we just have to live with the reality of attraction that comes with it.
However, Love isn't just a feeling but an act. It's almost indefinable, not like am trying to give a lecture now on love, It's only a self-expression on how it came to me.
As per a person who had been in previous relationships along the line, it's okay to carefully say the difference is crystal clear especially when one has to live on the motion that love is bittersweet and not without sin.
Love has so many stains to it that it could cause more hurt even familiar pains.
In my case, it somehow formed an angle, nor a good one though but I would choose not to elaborate on it.
The pains that were never once felt as a kid are now so known to the heart and soul. This day I know why Mum would always warn me to stay out of boys and pray against soft spot feelings lol
My mom did the most tho😅
In someway somehow, I miss my childhood but I don't wish to go back as I would wish to become an adult again.
All stages in the circle of life aren't all sweet and rosy and so in as much it's a night to remit on the good old days. I wish to stay as I am as I work to bring out the best of me even as I grow older and have lots of stories to share with the younger generations, that I desire truly enough.
Photo credits are mine.
