I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to nurture and grow anxiety and anger within me - because from my believe as a kid I saw the "purity" of these energies as valuable and precious, from TV - etc growing up in the 80 and further.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn myself to be angry and mad, cause that is what I would see my dad was doing, where I could see him being in that energy (!) that people would praise other vice, with money and energy plays, commercials, consume culture and I would do everything I could to gain that energy, and within that going into anger and psychosis and madness to try to impress my dad - and to think I was moving in a successful path.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I understood that energy high that commercials, consumerism and capitalism would "play out there" where I would think like if I can play that energy I can be rich and successful, which was all smoke and mirrors and fabricated lies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become furious and mad when I saw this puzzle more and more falling apart - and then drive myself into addictions and abuse - like a misfit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take back that idea and origin of thinking that emotions could be "precious gold", again according to TV etc, where I see now how that was playing out how I was fooling myself with these energy conspiracies, and making myself a joke - brainwashed and a fool.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my own conspiracy of energies within me where I would before think and imagine and project that (metaphysical) energy as such was precious and "gold" where I would today see in clarity how I was brainwashed by TV and consumer culture.
