Yes, this is one of those pseudo obligatory "end of the horrid year, looking forward to the next year only if it should happen to be better then the last" posts meant to be sappy, sentimental and smart-arse, hey wow...
So. Summary of the last year from the perspective of someone whose been listening to Ed Sheeran and Ben Howard all day trying desperately not to be introspective and melancholy, as it often depresses the fuck outta me. Not today though. There is too much love going around. I have all of you to thank for that.
The first half of my year sucked. I'll breeze through the struggling for a job I eventually lost because in effect, my common sense refused to be bought through soul sacrifice. My employer that deemed me unworthy because I didn't fit some archaic societal ideal of an employee. Blah. Eff that. Who needs that guilt trip? I decided in effect, to choose not to work. To choose to throw off the Yoak of Ecomomic Oppression.
However it freed me up to find Steemit and soon after PAL. What an exceptional blessing! And what a strange obsessive relationship I have with Discord! We've had some rough patches, where I've had massive melt downs and really, who the hell invented Mercury Retrograde? I mean WTF?
For the most part I am up each morning happy to spend my whole friggin day working at an occupation I get paid next to nothing for monetarily. Yeah but those benefits are killer. Friends. Confidence. Community.
I swear every night that the next day I will not go online and spend my whole day. Some days I actually do my dishes and make proper food. I have hope again, despite my lack of discipline.
I adore my family. The hugathon grows larger each day, despite a falling wallet. They all remain, lending support, encouragement and hugs. If I'm lucky, I get thrown a cookie or steal a freckle. Truthfully it's all I need.
New Years resolutions?
Yada yada typical bullshit, eat better, lose weight, exercise more, go out and get a real world life, get a job to save money to buy more crypto, stop falling in love with unavailable men, stop spending all day online Discord, try something new every day. We all know that as much as we want to do these things, the reality seldom happens. Still I will try.
In reality what I want to accomplish:
I really do want to try to do something new each day. Try to make a video, try to make an audio recording, try to write a story, try to sing, make good art. Take better photos, pin down crypto trading and patience. Learn to love without expecting anything in return.
Work on being a better friend. One that isnt crippled by emotions, one that can feel hurt but still wake up and try my best to love and give back to my community and not alienate friends because they trigger me.
Work towards a healthy sustainable lifestyle for myself and my community by sharing ideas and information. Hope for a better future and encourage others to do the same.
Thank you all for sharing the last few months with me, for being patient and resilient. I wish all of you the best possible future. I love you all.