Last night, when I fell asleep, I thought about my past playing habits. I think I was a good example of how the fun of playing can become more and more of an addiction. Therefore, in this article I will try to describe what triggered me and why I think it could have come to this point at all.
The beginnings
I've always loved to play. I've been playing video games since I was 5 years old when I first played the Atari. Of course, everything was still in order then. I've been out playing a lot with friends all my childhood. However, one already noticed here that over the years the importance and also the invested time increased steadily. It is like many other things that begin harmlessly and gradually develop into a problem.
The affinity to video games was there and I think it only took the one real hit to turn the latent danger of addiction into a manifest one. I think some of you may already know what game i am going to talk about....
World of Warcraft
I wasn't there from the beginning and only got in 6 months before the release of "The Burning Crusade". I must have been about 15 years old at the time. I wanted to play it earlier, but since my parents refused to switch from volume tariffs to flat rates for a long time, I had my own Internet connection very late. So far I had no experience with online games. For me, multiplayer contacts mainly took place at Lan parties.
After only a few hours of playing I was completely thrilled. I think everyone who has played an MMORPG intensively once will surely remember his very first MMO, when as a complete beginner you can explore a completely new world, make first contacts and ask the stupidest questions to your fellow players. You can only have this experience once in your life and it fascinated me absolutely. Of course I played a lot at the beginning, often even 6-8 hours if I had the time, but I didn't neglect anything at that time - friends and real life simply had priority. Surely I already had a gaming behaviour at that time that some would already call addiction or excessive consumption. Subjectively speaking, however, I do not see it as problematic even today. Where others were sitting in front of the TV in the evening, I was playing video games.
After the initial long gaming, a continuous but moderate consumption of games began for several years, which was mostly limited to the evenings.
But if you have too much time......
I think it became problematic when I graduated from high school and it took 6 months until my civil service started. The contact with my classmates and friends became less because of the lack of school anyway and World of Warcraft took more and more time in my life. Probably I tried to compensate the emptiness and missing contacts in the game by the suddenly dropping out school. I found myself a Progress Guild and began to raid extremely hard.
Raiden: Player jargon for a group match (today 10-25 people) against a scripted boss
Increasingly I stiffened myself in this game, partly 12-14 hours a day. The guild became more and more the only social contact, the game my only motivation to get up. The sneaky thing about such addictions is that you are often not even aware of it. You just talk yourself into it all the time: "You only play so much because you just don't feel like doing anything else and I don't have anything else to do right now". It's fun and you don't consume illegal substances or alcohol. Accordingly, you don't think you have a problem.
Realize you have a problem
More and more often, I also put my friends off on weekends or gave myself excuses to continue playing. I didn't really know this kind of behavior from myself until then, but I still didn't think anything of it. After about one and a half years my best friend finally approached me and confronted me - how much I had changed, that I had neither time nor desire to meet and much more. Of course, my friends have also made remarks before that I was playing too much, only I have not yet taken it seriously. This one conversation was different. It was simply a completely unembellished honest conversation, which brought my problem to my attention.
I think it took these clear words and also the realization that my friends are worried about me and miss me to finally wake me up. From that day on, I swore to myself that no game should ever stand before my friends and real life again.
After the conversation, I said goodbye to my guild relatively soon and took a longer break from World of Warcraft. Since then, I've been in World of Warcraft and other MMORPGs from time to time, but always controlled, never again so much and always with the most important rule: real life and friends first.
Self-reflection
Was I an extreme case?
From the hours I've spent in this game, I'm sure. But honestly, it was far too easy for me to stop after I was aware of my problem. There are certainly people who find it more difficult. Especially when they don't have friends as good as me, who talk you into your conscience so persistently and honestly. Considering I've been neglecting my friends for so long, a great vote of confidence.
Why did I let it come to this?
In its beginnings it was certainly the big fun. I think that MMORPGs also have a social component. One gets to know each other and is always among like-minded people. If you don't feel like being with someone, you log out and have your peace. Another reason is certainly that prestige feeling when you are the first guild to defeat a boss on the server or continue to rise in the worldwide guild comparison. The whole thing gives an ambitious player an enormous motivation.
To some extent it is certainly also due to the game mechanics. There's always something to do and you can quickly become a great hero. However, the game only provides the basic conditions, whether an addiction ultimately arises depends on the player himself.
Do I regret everything?
Looking back, this is a very ambivalent question. On the one hand I regret having neglected my friends for so long because of a game, on the other hand I also have great memories of the time. I put all my spare time into this game, which is also very criticizing from today's perspective, but I also met some very good friends in this game with whom I still have contact today, even without World of Warcraft.
My consequences
Through the efforts of my friends I became aware of my addiction and was thus able to overcome it. These experiences have made me more critical. Today I'm looking more closely at what I'm investing time in and whether something else that's important will fall by the wayside.
My enthusiasm for video games is still unbroken and I do not avoid it at all. Only my self-observation has become more intensive and I take care not to play so excessively anymore. Only when I play through a single player title it comes to short highs. In MMORPGs I have imposed a strict ban on hardcore raiding so that I never get into such a situation again.
My message
I think my history and experience have shown that you can fall into addiction fast. The transitions are fluid and one is rarely aware of this. Whether I was really addicted I cannot judge what I can say for sure that it has taken on very dangerous tendencies. Some of you who read this and played excessive World of Warcraft or another MMORPG will surely recognize yourself in certain points.
Video games are a great medium worth preserving, but as the Swiss doctor Paracelsus said back then:
"All things are poison, and nothing is without poison, only the dose makes a thing not poison"
Learn from my mistakes and don't let it go that far. Be critical of your behavior and question yourselves. You only have this one life, games are great, but don't forget that there is also an enchanting world outside your monitor.
Have you had similar experiences in your life or are you in a similar situation? Write your thoughts in the comments, maybe I can help you.
Unmarked images stems from Pexels.com
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