CHAPTER 6: PRE-SHOW
PART ONE: Technical Issues
[The arena is completely dark, but fans can be heard in the stands. In the lobby, a camera shows that the halls are cluttered everywhere as various chants are going on that include “We Want Wrestling,” “Sully Sphinx” and some “Genuin.” Outside the building, the main camera focuses on commentators BILLY WINN & BIG JULIUS.]
Billy: Julius, it’s crazy in there. How are we even getting in?
Julius: Maybe when a certain somebody turns back on the power to the arena.
[Camera pans over to show Sully Sphinx in front of the circuit breaker. He stands there in silence and looking tough by not smiling and giving a look to people that makes him appear dangerous.]
Sully: There’s only one guy that should be allowed to start the show. The power stays off until he gets here.
[The camera comes back over to Billy and Julius, both looking unimpressed]
Billy: What are we supposed to do no
[Billy jumps as if startled. The camera looks to the side and soon looks downward to show a little Mexican man, RICARDO.]
Julius: Hey man.
Billy: What the hell was that? You grabbed my ass.
Ricardo: You looked stressed.
Billy: So you grabbed my ass?
[Ricardo shrugs]
Ricardo: Worked on your sister.
[Julius laughs]
Julius: That was good man, well we have the cameras anyway so let’s intro.
[All three look at the camera.]
Billy: Hi, I’m Billy Winn.
Julius: I’m Big Julius.
Ricardo: This is not my job, I’m going to talk to the girls with skirts on.
[Ricardo walks off, but the camera stays on Billy and Julius.]
Julius: I like that little guy, we’re seeing him later.
Billy: Right, well my nerves are going crazy.
Julius: Yeah, your nerd senses are tingling. Let’s show these people the OCW Building.
[Julius walks as the camera and Billy follow. They head across the street and passing loads of fans, all cheering and trying to get on camera by screaming, shoving their heads nearby or trying to flash/moon the camera. All without getting out of line. They eventually get far enough to get a clear shot of the building. The building is very similar to the Roman Coliseum, but structured using modern methods and a glass roof.]
Billy: Now that’s a sight there.
Julius: Damn right. The personal locker room areas are huge, you could practically live there. Especially with the gym and arena all connected as one.
Billy: This is some crazy spending and work, hope this show’s a hit.
Julius: Have you seen the card?
Billy: There’s a card set?
Julius: Yeah, it was in the newsletter.
Billy: There’s a newsletter? They all told me that everything was still being debated on.
Julius: Did you ask the tan, tall guy?
Billy: No, I asked Ricardo.
[Julius stares at him and soon starts laughing.]
Julius: He got you good. Hope your health insurance covers public embarrassment.
Billy: We have health insurance too?
Julius: Okay I’m going to stop talking and head back to the place so we can do the thing.
[Back to Sully. Sully is still by the circuit breaker and now talking to FOX and KEY. Sully appears to be talking to Fox and constantly pushing both back.]
Fox: Sully! You’re being childish!
Sully: I won’t hit a girl, but I’ll gladly grapple you both to the ground.
[The camera pans back to Billy and Julius with Fox’s Intern TOMOKO]
Billy: Any luck?
[Tomoko sighs]
Tomoko: Nope.
Billy: Do you get health insurance?
[Tomoko looks at Billy as if confused]
Tomoko: What?
Julian: Don’t ask, don’t you think as Fox’s Intern you should help her out?
Tomoko: I was told I could be fired if I fought anyone. I’m not an “active wrestler” she said, not fair, so she can fight him.
[A big impact is heard.]
Fox: (Off Screen) KEY!! HOW DID YOU MISS THAT? LOOK AT HIM, COME ON!!
Sully: (Off Screen) I’m not that big, maybe I could do hot yoga but
Fox & Key: SHUT IT!!!
Tomoko: I should just get Tom; Sully’s waiting on him anyway. Those two just want to see if they can do it.
[Tomoko walks off. Billy and Julius are then greeted by a middle-aged hippy named “LSD”]
LSD: How’s it hanging guys? It’s me, Larry Saint Dee.
Julius: Oh the new commentator?
LSD: Yeah man, why are you guys out here? Everything’s hooked up, just needs power.
Billy: We’re waiting on him.
[LSD looks at Sully and back to Billy and Julius.]
LSD: Yeah, but why not just take the backdoor into the locker room area? That’s what everyone else is doing. The power outage is just in the ringside area.
[Silence for a bit]
Billy & Julius: THERE IS A BACKDOOR?
LSD: Yeah, I hope you guys didn’t think he just hit every single circuit breaker on there. That’d just be silly. Come on, I was just talking to the guys who do the live cam show with no name yet.
[LSD leaves. Julius looks at Billy.]
Billy: Doesn’t feel good to not be told something, right?
Julius: Let’s get inside, the show is about to start.
[Tommy Lee shows up and heads over to Sully. Billy and Julius leaves as the camera focuses on Tom.]
Sully: Finally.
TL: Sully, what the hell? Nobody can get to their seats.
Sully: I thought you should start the show.
TL: People are tripping over themselves and complaining.
Sully: Yeah. It’s the thought that counts though.
[Tom and Sully stare down]
TL: We have a very odd friendship.
[Sully backs away from the circuits and stops Fox and Key from showing up out of nowhere and hitting the breakers. Tom opens it and looks around.]
Sully: Well?
TL: Which one is it?
Sully: It’s your building, how am I supposed to know? I just flipped a bunch of switches and got lucky.
Fox: You’re kidding me.
Key: I’m going to kill you.
TL: Calm down, just get inside and let’s get this started.
[Tom flips a bunch of switches, most leading with complaints, swearing and screaming. Fox and Key head inside while Sully points at a switch.]
Sully: I think it’s that one.
TL: The one you put your gum?
Sully: Yeah, it was the cheap kind. Kind of surprised it stuck.
[Tom hits the switch and can hear people cheering.]
TL: Okay, I think we got this covered. Now let the damn electrician do his job.
Sully: We’re back on the air buddy.
[Sully smiles as he heads inside. Tom takes a moment and smiles too.]
PART 2: Starting the show
[The lights are all on at ringside and music begins to play. The camera pans around to show fans all getting to their seats. The camera then stops at the local band playing as they finish their instrumentals. The lead singer stops playing, adjusts his bleach blonde dreadlocks and grabs a mic.]
Lead Singer: Ladies and gentlemen! We are your musical group for this evening and working to be the official group of the OCW! We are THE BLUE COLD HABANERO PICKLES and we are ready to go! Make some noise!
[Many of the younger fans scream and the group begins the play a mellow acoustic song to start. The camera switches over to the commentary team: Billy Winn, Big Julius and Larry Saint Dubois who are now all seated and hooked up with their equipment that includes headphones, microphones and personal video screens.]
Billy: Are we on?
[LSD waves at the camera]
LSD: Hey guys! If you’re just tuning in and can hear me, this is our Pre-Show for OCW War! I’m LSD, this is Orange Julius and that’s Big Winn!
[Julius laughs]
Billy: I’m Billy Winn, this is Big Julius.
LSD: Okay, I was close and thirsty.
Julius: You gonna introduce him?
[Billy takes a moment]
Billy: This is LSD!
LSD: Yeah I got that one right! Are we supposed to yell into these?
Julius: You’re fine.
LSD: Okay. When I was in prison, we had to yell.
Julius: You’re good here, just do what you’re best at.
LSD: No, that’s why I was in jail.
[Julius laughs again]
Julius: I may die laughing, Billy, go.
Billy: Okay, our group tonight has been introduced; time to hear from our announcer: LANCE JACKSON!
[The music tones down as a skinny pale white kid with a bald head and a mic enters the ring.]
Lance: Okay, this is crazy. Wow!
[Cheering can be heard. Lance walks around the ring while pointing the mic at any cheering fans.]
You are the best fans I’ve had so far!
Julius: This is his first night.
LSD: Don’t pick on him, he’s new, I remember when I was new.
Billy: You are new.
LSD: That’s what I just said.
[Lance wipes some sweat off of his forehead as he gets himself ready.]
Lance: This is our big premier and we have a big show planned. Now you’ve met our commentary team: internet personality Billy Winn, Mister LSD and Big Julius. We also have our General Manager here at her own private office in the balcony area!
[Fans cheer while Fox gets up and waves to all the fans. Key and Tomoko are there with her.]
Fox is from the Perez family, known for their love and participation of both wrestling and Lucha culture. You’ll see plenty of that tonight, because OCW is all about what happens in this ring. You will see our tag team division tonight with Damien Cross and the Blood Angels that just recruited Zach Tobias! You’re going to see amazing matches from the likes of our Vixens and the beginning of the Lethal Lottery tournament.
Julius: Yeah!
Lance: You’re also going to see the OCW Champion, amazing actor and greatest man alive: Genuin!!
Billy: Genuin told him to say that.
LSD: Why are you talking over this guy, he’s nervous enough because he’s so new and stuff.
Lance: We also have OCW’s own Sully Sphinx! We have Key, Kristy, Team Beer, Jay Rizzo, Marvin Keith and way more. Just to catch people up on current events: Sully Sphinx is number one contender to Genuin’s Title, a belt Sully once held and would gladly take it back. It’ll be all Bruce Lee and Arnold all up in that. Both guys want to fight and prove who is best.
[Some “Sully” chants]
We also have Key being named Vixen’s Title number one contender against Lita Walters from the Blood Angels. Key doesn’t want the title people, she needs to get that belt away from Lita. Key wants to give us an honorable champion, where Lita is all about fighting. Key’s with the Perez family, they love their honor and tradition. Most importantly, Blood Angels, they have most of the titles, we need to see what they’re going to do.
[Some more cheering while Lance takes a breath and nods]
So let’s get started people! Countdown!!
[A numerical image is shown on the ring via spotlight. The audience sees and counts down with each new number. 5…4…3…2…1!!!]
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