There is a version I haven't tried yet because I keep needing to know it will work, so it sits there untouched while I keep circling around it with all my careful thinking,
There is a version I haven't tried yet because I keep needing to know it will work, and I have confused certainty with permission so many times,
There is a version I haven't tried yet because I keep needing to know it will work, and the waiting has cost me more than any failed attempt ever could have,
What am I actually protecting by refusing to try the thing I can't guarantee yet,
There is a version I haven't tried yet because I keep needing to know it will work, and today I am letting myself know and keep doing it regardless of the outcome…
I keep pruning the idea before I've even let it grow even one honest inch, cutting away anything that looks strange before I've even asked what is this strangeness,
I keep pruning the idea before I've even let it grow one honest inch, and I call it editing when really it's just fear wearing a more respectable coat,
I keep pruning the idea before I've even let it grow one honest inch, and I wonder what shape it might have taken if I'd left it alone a little longer,
Am I actually improving this, or am I just making it smaller so it can't disappoint me later,
I keep pruning the idea before I've even let it grow one honest inch, and I am setting the shears down, at least to just let it develop…
There is a shape that I could take never demanding the first perfect draft, insisting to arrive already dressed and ready before I even understand it,
There is a shape that I could take never demanding the first perfect draft, and I have thrown away rough beginnings that were only asking for more room,
There is a shape that I could take never demanding the first perfect draft, and demanding itself has kept more things unfinished than any real failure has,
Can I let this stay messy a while longer without treating the mess as proof I've failed,
There is a shape that I could take never demanding the first perfect draft, and I am giving it room to be mine even if it’s clumsy and unfinished…
I keep treating play like it has to prove something before I'm allowed to enjoy it, weighing every loose experiment against a result it was never meant to deliver yet,
I keep treating play like it has to prove something before I'm allowed to enjoy it, and I have made a chore out of the one part that used to feel like breathing,
I keep treating play like it has to prove something before I'm allowed to enjoy it, and somewhere the joy quietly left the room while I was busy grading it,
When did I stop letting myself make something just to see what it would feel like to make it,
I keep treating play like it has to prove something before I'm allowed to enjoy it, and I am asking that inner joy to come back, with no kind of conditions attached…
Watchwords:
Needing to already know it will work,
Pruning the idea before it grows,
Demanding the first draft behave,
Play has to prove something first,
The joy quietly left the room,
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
