I let distance teach me, I notice how time changes the meaning of every moment, and it’s humbling to see that what felt unbearable yesterday can feel small and easy today,
I let distance teach me, I admit my first interpretation is often harsh or overloaded, like my mind prefers danger because danger makes me feel alive and dreaming,
I let distance teach me, I confess I’ve treated my feelings like facts, then suffered twice, once from the event and once from the story I built around it,
I let distance teach me, can I sit with what happened long enough to let it settle into something true instead of immediately reaching for the interpretation that hurts the most,
I let distance teach me, I breathe and let the meaning arrive later when it’s ready…
I question what I never saw, I notice how my body braces for impact against things that exist only in the part of me that has never learned to distinguish between what is coming and what I am simply afraid,
I question what I never saw, I admit I’ve replayed messages I didn’t need to reread, and each replay felt like volunteering for a new kind of bruise,
I question what I never saw, I confess sometimes the harm only becomes real because I keep touching it, naming it, feeding it, giving it a place in my day,
I question what I never saw. Do I want to keep carrying something I have already decided I am tired of holding — or is the carrying itself the habit I have not yet found the courage to put down,
I question what I never saw. I close the tab in my mind and return to the only moment that was ever real — this one, Now…
I take back my steadiness, I notice how quickly I surrender my mood to other people’s tone, and it scares me how easy it is to be led by their own sentence,
I take back my steadiness, I realize self-control is not coldness, it is respect for the life I must continue living once the noise passes,
I take back my steadiness, I confess I don’t want to reshape myself just to fit someone else’s expectations, because every time I do I drift further from the person I’m trying to become,
I take back my steadiness, can I hold my calm ground even when the moment tries to provoke a louder version of me,
I take back my steadiness, I choose the slower response and keep my own found self respect and dignity…
I choose fewer desires, I see how my mind and heart grow crowded when I try to hold too many wants at the same time, and that crowding makes me restless and unsteady,
I choose fewer desires, I admit even the best wishes can turn into chains when I cling to them, tying my calm to what the world may or may not give,
I choose fewer desires, I confess I’m learning to want without gripping, to hope without begging, to plan without sacrificing what’s mine right now,
I choose fewer desires, am I willing to let urgency soften and allow a quieter freedom to grow in its place, where my days are no longer pulled in every direction all at once,
I choose fewer desires, I keep my hands open and stay present, letting this quiet restraint become my freedom…
Watchwords
My first interpretation is often harsh,
Each replay felt like volunteering bruises,
I take back my steadiness today,
Do I want to keep carrying this,
I keep my hands open and stay,
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream: