I have been measuring my progress, against the person I thought I would already be, forgetting how much effort it takes to become someone who can finish without hesitation,
I have been measuring my progress, by everything still left to do, overlooking the distance I have already travelled far ahead,
I have been measuring my progress, as though unfinished work could erase everything I have managed to bring to life,
I have been measuring my progress, I keep asking myself now and then, why does few remaining task still make everything I have accomplished feel so small,
I have been measuring my progress, even achievements I once valued became reminders of how much further I believed I should be…
I keep comparing my pace, with people who seem to move through their work with confidence and ease I cannot see beyond the surface,
I keep comparing my pace, forgetting that I know nothing of the doubts and struggles even though I have experienced them all my life even though others carry beyond what they choose to show,
I keep comparing my pace, the bare feeling of being left behind gives my disappointment somewhere to settle, even when the comparison was never the case,
I keep comparing my pace, as I wander, have I become so busy watching how quickly others move that I no longer notice what my own journey is teaching me in the beginning,
I keep comparing my pace, while the work that belongs to me waits for me to return with a measure of my own…
I have mistaken movement for, proof that I am doing enough, as though every day must produce something visible before my effort can truly matter,
I have mistaken movement for, certainty that I am improving, even when moving faster has kept me from seeing what needed more attention,
I have mistaken movement for, relief from the fear of falling behind, filling my days with activity while avoiding the one decision that could move my life forward,
I have mistaken movement for, I ask myself, how often have I kept myself busy because I was afraid to admit that my perspective needed to change,
I have mistaken movement for progress that looks convincing from the outside while leaving me unsure whether I am getting closer to what I truly needed to do…
I am learning to recognize progress, in the small decisions I once dismissed mostly because they did not seem important enough to count my growth despite I’ve been trying my best,
I am learning to recognize progress, even when one finished piece feels modest beside everything still waiting for my full undisrupted attention,
I am learning to recognize progress, without turning every accomplishment into another demand to work faster, create more, or prove myself again all over again,
I am learning to recognize progress, I ask myself, can I let one honest accomplishment be enough for today without measuring it against everything I have yet to finish,
I am learning to recognize progress, I no longer want to confuse being unfinished with being behind, or mistake things as evidence that nothing has changed, sometimes the life I keep waiting to arrive is already taking shape in the person I am becoming…
Watchwords:
The person I thought I would already be
What my own journey is teaching me
Activity while avoiding the one decision
One honest accomplishment be enough
The quiet truth that I have been moving all along
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream: