I remember now, that nothing I make arrives untouched by the voices, places, memories and influences that shaped me,
I remember now, how every idea carries fingerprints from my own conversations, books, mistakes and moments I barely noticed,
I remember now, that creating has never felt like ownership as much as stewardship of something passing by,
I remember now, am I forcing originality or honoring what genuinely moves through me,
I remember now, and the pressure to create everything alone softens…
I want to meet myself, through different versions that rarely agree on what the work should become or mean,
I want to meet myself, through the dreamer who imagines freely and at the same time the builder who worries about execution,
I want to meet myself, through the tension between my vision and reality that never seems fully resolved,
I want to meet myself, am I frustrated with the work or grieving the gap between imagination and tangible form,
I want to meet myself, and the argument inside my mind that becomes a passion-able conversation…
As I negotiate gently, with the parts of me that want opposite things at exactly the same season,
As I negotiate gently, because forcing one voice to dominate usually leaves the work thinner and less alive,
As I negotiate gently, allowing contradiction to sit beside my purest intention but at the same time without rushing toward an immediate solution,
As I negotiate gently, am I listening to every part of myself or rewarding only the loudest one,
As I negotiate gently, and the work grows from cooperation instead of constant control…
I’m staying curious, about what emerges when different parts of me finally agree to build something together,
I’m staying curious, even when the result looks different from what I imagined at the beginning,
I’m staying curious, because surprise has often delivered truths that planning could never uncover,
I’m staying curious, can I allow the work to become itself on the making instead of becoming my expectation,
I’m staying curious, and something more honest starts appearing, for certainty kept repeating what I already knew while curiosity showed me what I had been missing…
Watchwords:
The pressure softens
The argument becomes conversation
Cooperation instead of control
Surprise delivers truths
Something more honest appears
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
