Of the many strange phobias that live inside my brain, one of the more strange is the fear of misplacing something. Sure, I have a fear of heights, but the real fear when peering over the handrail of a lofty perch is losing my glasses. It nearly makes me nauseous to imagine them plummeting to the ground.
My lovely wife is kind enough to torment me by taking pictures of these estranged personal effects, making sure I will see them.
It's a common scene and often regarded as whimsical, a pair of shoes swaying in the breeze. For me, I can only imagine how there must be an uncomfortable, shoeless soul, wandering the earth. Perhaps, it didn't stop at shoes...
There it is, folks. Just rolling along the sidewalk. Seriously. Who just loses a sock?! Can it get any worse than that?! I am afraid to ask, because it certainly can...
For the love of all things holy. How? Why?
The loss of one's underpants is far from a casual, unintended act. I haven't sufficient words to express the level of disturbance this causes.
For the sake of other individuals that share the same, albeit odd, fear of misplaced personal possessions, please use caution in your travels. It's really going to throw me off if I stumble across your literally soiled underpants along a sidewalk.
Disturbingly, I now have so many more of these types of images.
Alright. This is a major article of clothing! Goods and services may be refused to the reckless exhibitionist who has so carelessly discarded this shirt. At this point, is it littering, or public indecency? Perhaps both.
Keep your shirt on,
Thom
