YES or NO.
Very often, people chat me up with complaints about being emotionally invested in someone who doesn't give a damn.
They desperately want to fix it; make that person love and commit to them.
It's this kind of scenario one asks: What's the problem? Where did things begin to get wrong? Who offended who? When did the love get sour?
I used to shoot those questions with rapid enthusiasm in the past and the person still ended up unstuck.
So I figured something out and began to ask the right questions first. And they went like this:
Did you ask her out?
Did she say "Yes"
Are you dating?!
Are you in an actual relationship with this person
Shockingly, the answers to these are often NO.
It turns out these guys are asking me to weigh in on a phantom situation, to fix a relationship that never existed.
He just liked the girl; things got from platonic to romantic. He probably asked her out or not...and he got no actual reply...just something like "let's see how it goes" or " I'm not sure sha" is often the answer these guys get and they imagine they are in a relationship.
Since when did maybes and ifs become an actual substitute for "YES" when you propose?
When it is all said and done, there's someone who is hurt on the other side of giving much more than he is getting.
You can't be an adequate lover to someone who merely sees you as a friend.
To this end, be very clear about your friendships and even more so about your relationships.
Don't assume. Get a Yes or No. Don't leave that place till you hear either of them. "I'll think about it" is not a maneuver into a likely yes. Don't fall for it. It often means NO at the moment.
Don't be caught waiting for someone who is thinking about being in a relationship with you later that you miss someone who is crazy about you in the now!
Don't let words confuse you in the equation of love. It's either of these:
YES or NO.
