I like change. Change in the aspect that no one needs to tell me to change. I like not being included in the majority. How do I know when to change? I think it's depression.
Sometimes everything just becomes the same for like weeks. The same routine, the same mood, the same food, the same energy. To me, being depressed means my spirit is tired of living in the same physical body. The best way I deal with this is to change.
But how do I change? Living in a society where there are so many cultural and religious restrictions, one usually doesn鈥檛 have much to change to. But I鈥檓 the alt type and cultural and religious bigotry are not my thing.
Everyone is used to the mainstream way of doing things so much that a little change away from the mainstream makes you qualified to be the Dubai of the society, aka the center of attraction.
But even with this, I鈥檒l still choose to be the center of attention than be depressed. Keeping my spirit alive and healthy is so important to me that I don鈥檛 even consider a second thought when I鈥檓 moving differently.
It鈥檒l take only a thought for me to wake up one day and decide to go fully bald. In the same way, I can decide not to trim or cut my hair for months. And either way, I鈥檓 dope. I don鈥檛 have favorite colors, I just listen to my spirit and say yes.
My self-esteem and confidence have been my major pillar in being different from the mainstream. Once I choose to alt my looks, it鈥檒l take infinity to convince me that it鈥檚 a bad idea. And this has never led me astray, because my spirit is alive and healthy, and I know exactly when to change and what to change.
In my experience, people who usually make it to the top have an insane level of confidence in who they鈥檙e meant to be, and even in times of doubt, they can hold on to that.