It's three o'clock in the night. You are lying on the bed, there is no sleep in your eyes. In your ears, a man's utterance is said to be, "You will not worthy of it", "you are ineligible, inferior", "you can not do it"
And this man is you!
Does the person in the mirror give you pain? Does your breath stop seeing him? Do you always blame him for every problem or failure every day? Do you live with him,his work, his personality dislike, even hate you?
If the answers are 'yes', then you will say that you are a self loather, which means you hate yourself.
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We all blame ourselves for a lot of problems or mistakes. But a self-borne Loather, he blames himself for everything, punishes himself for what he does not have any relation with!
But there are many times when people take shelter in Self-Loathing to motivate themselves. But none of us, however, hates our own way of birth or ourselves. According to psychologists, this is due to environmentalism.
# How do you know that you are being victim of self-Loathing?
Before you do any work, you keep your goal far below what it should be. Think of it, whether or not you succeed or fail, the fruit will not hurt you anymore. You may think that, if you set the goal down, you will not have to do so much to reach it, but you do not understand that you are humbling yourself in doing this work. You do not even know how you are constantly shortening your competence and you will be seeing many opportunities in the future, due to lack of effort and confidence.
You are constantly blaming yourself, sometimes for an incident that you have no relation with. Always have a sense of guilt in you. You have always shrunk for minor mistakes. You take responsibility for everything you take on your shoulders.
Let's say that the work of your team is not of special benefit, which is not your fault only, but you are taking it out of your shoulders. Unconsciously you apologize to others. Without any reason, you are making yourself small in front of everyone. If you want to despise yourself as a human, the more you will be affected by your daily life. Because where you can not dignify yourself, another person will give you that status?
And many times, many people insult themselves while doing so. It is a type of reverse psychology. "Can not do that? What have I learned so many days?" Or "If I can not do this I am ineligible to live in society"- a lot of such kind of encouragement gives me some kind of encouragement. It is useful for many people. But it is a question of how good a negative behavior is for the mental health of the person. Because such behavior brings forth disappointments and anxiety.
You are just looking at your mistakes. We are human. Life is the only wrong decision. But a self-styled Loather just remembers his own mistakes. As a result, he seems to himself that it is not possible to make the wrong decision by him. He starts seeing his knowledge and qualities in suspense, constantly striking himself. It does not have any improvement in it, but self-confidence decreases day by day. He always remembers, "I can not", "I can not do anything good", "not worthy of anything" etc.
You compare yourself with others always. You have always been anxious about what has got and what you have done in life. "It is good to be able to meet such people, I can not even do it", "He is beautiful but I'm ugly" - In comparison to each other, it will be seen that you are thinking unrealistic or you feel overwhelmed.
People both have both good and bad qualities. Naturally everyone will have the same quality. You can not be skilled in the work that others do, and vice versa. It is therefore not wise to compare ourselves with others, jealousy is not at all intelligent. Self-relieving disorders are those who constantly recognize the recognition of their survival in society, from others. She thought about who took her, and she was reluctant to accept him. This is a type of disorder, which manifests in humans. Many famous people were not able to escape from the power. From writer Francis Kafka, the actress, Meryl Strip, Johnny Depp or music artist John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, etc. are victims of self-styling. Selfish loath is like a squirrel, and it keeps on slowing down, and once he is defeating himself. Even his own life
These people who have lost themselves slowly, have lost interest in life, and for their disgust. It will be seen that they are doing all kinds of work, smiling at all, chatting, but inside they are very sad, very alone And whatever they achieve, no matter how virtuous they are - they themselves are the same, small, inferior. They are imprisoned in their own built in the brain. At one stage they chose the most dangerous road to get rid of the prison - Suicide It is not necessary to say that one of the major reasons for suicide is self-hatred. Hundreds of hundreds of suicide notes remain intimidated,
# Then what is the Solution??
First of all, you should set goals according to what you want to do in your mind. If you have the potential to fail, you should be encouraging yourself in that work because success comes from failure. Do not be afraid, you can move forward if you do not get the first step.
Unconsciously blame yourself and leave the habit of being kneeling on others. If you want to apologize for no reason, you are weakening your position, and we are weakening your own weight. You may then see that when you seek forgiveness for any mistake, your sincerity will not be taken seriously. Because you drink the lime from the person is forgiven for the people! The burden of your words, your position has become so weak that your sincere remorse will not be charged anymore. So unanswered forgiveness is no more.
Encourage yourself positively. Inspire yourself by saying that "I have worked hard so I can" or "I have gone so far without delay, but if I try the best now, I will be successful" . If successful, give yourself strength and give yourself comfort when you fail. "It's not what happened now, it'll be the next time" - Encourage yourself in such a way. Learn to smash your back.
Think of the right decision or action with your mistakes. Think of your own positive qualities and learn from the mistakes. Remember, there are many things to learn from failure.
Comparing yourself with yourself rather than comparing yourself with others. Improve yourself in work-and-practice. Always keep an eye on the front. Today's 'you' is more knowledgeable, more worky than last day's 'you'. Become someone whom you are bound to be proud of.
Self-Loth One type of war with yourself. You have to fight with another 'I', who always wants to keep you down, wants to destroy you.
"When we do not find anyone to hate, we hate ourselves."
-Chuck Chanayek, Invisible Monsters.
Self-criticism is certainly a great quality, but not injustice towards yourself. People want for their natural characteristics that others understand them, accept acceptance for everyone. But the person who can not accept himself, how will he expect acceptance from another?
"If you hate your behavior, you might even love yourself."
-Chris Jamie, Killosophy.
Our closest people are our shadow. You are your biggest supporter. Only you can complete yourself, not anyone else. So love yourself, keep your head high.
This is a common problem of us, so i want to discuss and share with you guys. let me know your thought by commenting in here.
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