In the early days of cohabitation, you experienced a long running-in period. You are still adapting to each other's differences. You gradually find that lovers are introverts. You don't like to talk on the phone. When you go home, you don't particularly want to immediately share yours respective ones. Lively, you try to observe his various reactions, and gradually come to the conclusion that he likes to be alone, needs to be quiet, does not like to be interfered, and does not like to always hear the other person's jealousy and complaints.
You keep this in mind.
In past love experiences, there is little time to think about what kind of people are and how to get along with each other. It seems that if people fall in love, they will automatically generate a pattern that will allow lovers to become involuntarily and obey. You are in love. You cry and laugh again, you have all the things you should and shouldn't do, but in the end you can't make love lasting. When you separate, you think about what went wrong in that part. "You are so dependent on it." ""You are not romantic," "You have become good," and a sentence like a knife cuts your faith in love into one piece. You recall all the things you have done and all the emotions you have experienced together. It is true that many times you are driven by involuntary impulses. Being bewitched, fearful, skeptical, possessive, and even a feeling of namelessness and indescribable feelings occupy the sanity, and you finally walk away from the pain of love. Out of it, what you want to fight is this kind of inability.
If you fall in love again in the future, you swear to be a "very independent lover". Don't be crazy about love. Let yourself and your loved ones feel free in love and become the ideal style of love in your heart.
When you recall past love experiences, you will be ashamed of your own dependencies and wishful thinking in a certain period of love. You secretly remember all the habits and temperaments of lovers. You should not make any mistakes, and most importantly, you must let them Stand alone. Later you met him, and you fell into love. At first you didn't want to live together. You were afraid of having to leave with your luggage when you broke up, or look at the other person to pack and run away and look like you are embarrassed.
Later you accepted your cohabitation, but you did not want to be assimilated. You were afraid that you would become a crazy woman because of love.
In daily life, you exercise yourself daily, and your lovers work overtime. You can say good, no problem. I have dinner for myself. Lovers and friends travel. You said good, no problem. I went to the movies myself. After the lovers come home, you watch him on the sofa with a large number of slides. You also sit in front of the computer and watch the historical drama. You can work quietly and independently. No one will bother anyone. When time comes, you want to sleep. : "Good night, I'm going into the house." He took his tablet back to the bedroom. He was proud that he finally didn't mind when he entered the room. He didn't mind the need to hug before going to bed every night. You felt you were independent.
In the process of practicing "independence" and "respect," you gradually become unconscious and ignorant, and when you are buried in the drama, you suddenly think of something and say to him: "I never I asked you to accompany me. I take good care of myself. It's very good.” The lover lifted his head from the drama and said with a slight sigh: “We are just like roommates. You just like yourself and you feel like you’re getting in the way. "You're startled and you don't know how to answer.
Did we become roommates?
Not like it?
In the middle of the night, you quietly reflect on how you can confuse independence and alienation. You thought you were not sticky or dependent on yourself, you would make lovers feel free and do not need to bear the pressure of companionship, but you do not know that you are gradually pushing him out of the lives of the two people. Independent minds, training is not independent, but the estrangement of each other, you may be to avoid loss, do not want to be rejected, and thus depressed expectations of him, you think this is a good way for both people, but forgot to go Understand the feelings of the other party when you are determined to do so, and you regard what you want to be an important thing, but forget that in love, all your decisions will affect each other. You cannot suddenly be in a relationship of love. Decide to be a completely independent person, because the process of practicing independence is exclusive, and your intention is to make him feel free, but become alienated from each other.
What should I do? Why are you wrong?
You remembered reading in a book: "Need is the best gift we can give to a lover."
