I’m not a fan of so-called falling in love state of mind. Not for a long time. I’m not among those people who always complain about their miserable love life, trying to reach out that feeling again, bouncing from one relationship to another and sincerely hoping to repeat that pinkish bubbly illusion set on the pedestal of all emotions mainly thanks to dime stories or superficial Hollywood movies.
Here I suggest main differences among loving someone and falling in love with someone, the way I see it.
Feel free to add your own suggestion if I didn’t mention it, or to disagree with my attitude completely.
Falling in love is about total illusion of the desired object
The person falls in a self-hypnotic state like daydreaming in an act of self-deception. You’re lying yourself about that person ascribing them all the best qualities they really don’t possess or deserve.
Have you ever met a person you had been in love with and then from time distance have thought for a moment: “Is it possible that I was in love with him/her. I can’t believe it. What was on my mind? ”
When you love someone you try to accept their personality as it is
On contrary, you’re trying to accept personality of loving being as it is, without any need to glorify anything.
Easy to fall in love
It’s so cheap to fall in love. For example, someone’s blue eyes can be sufficient reason for a person to fall in love. In some cases, only one second is enough to fall in love, although awaking can be slow and painful. Suddenly person you’re in love with took power over you and you find yourself in a submissive position to a person you even don’t know anything about. To a complete stranger. Why? Because of their blue eyes or cute face? That’s totally weird.
Love is not instant category
You can’t love someone just like that. It’s a process, slow but strong. Loving is deep - falling in love is cheap. In comparison with Love, falling in love is like 50 cents emotional chewing gum.
I can’t help falling in love VS I can help it if I have a bit of experience and I want to resist it
Most of the people learn how to deal with it hard way sooner or later. Learn how to control it. When you detect first signals of affection toward somebody, you have to be very inexperienced or suicidal to let that feeling of sympathy towards a total stranger drifts you growing into a flood of chemical reactions in your body. For experienced people that signal is alarm yelling: hold your horses! Don’t fall into that pit again. Of course, you can let yourself to that feeling if you like, but in that case, it’s because it was your own decision, not because you couldn’t help it. That’s the main difference.
