@diabolika my friend, I try avoid giving advice as we are all different and all I know of you is what you expose here .... {deep breath...} BUT ... two things.. positive people attract positive people ... being negative repels positive people in my opinion. Do you know of ANYONE who has achieved good things and lived a happy life with an angry / frustrated / negative / complaining disposition? I do not.

Another point you should consider...What was my demeanor and attitude like at the time my best friend came into my life? Was I a perfectionist? Was I open and forthcoming?

Just my 5c worth .... you welcome to show me the middle finger if you like {grin}

If you opt for the travel option .... put South Africa on your radar as a stay... especially Cape Town.