Relational Principles For a New World

As part of a recent prompt to elicit visionary descriptions of an ideal future world, @kennyskitchen observed, “most folks can give you a list of things that they want to see an end to, problems they see in the current state of the world, etc. Ask them what it looks like in the world they want to see us create, and they tend to get pretty silent.” I’m as guilty of this in my daily life as anyone, and this limitation makes sense on a number of levels: it’s easier to think and talk about what we know and are familiar with than what we are not; also the human brain is wired to give attention to the negative or potentially threatening as a matter of survival. So to call an envisioning of the world of the future (rather than focusing on what’s broken and needs to be fixed) an “exercise” is aptly named: for me, it feels like flexing some part of my brain that is pretty well underused. Maybe part of the problem is that I don’t read enough sci-fi.

In any case, as my entry for the contest to win a ticket to @anarchaforko by @tribesteemup, here is my vision for the world of the future.

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We are a people built on relationships: the personal is the political, and our reality is fractal. Therefore a healthy, thriving world begins with healthy, thriving relationships founded on transparency, freedom, respect, and courage.

We are in tune with and aware of our own internal experiences, with the skill and patience to tap into our own emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual experience, and share that experience honestly and transparently with those with whom we are in relationship of any kind. We recognize that love and bondage cannot coexist, and strive to love and be in relationship with others in such a way that honors their sovereignty and freedom in all ways, ensuring that all interactions are free from coercion or obligation. Rather than expectation, honest requests, information about one’s needs and desires, mutual respect, and gratitude are the order of the day. Instead of living from a place of fear (of loss, impermanence, betrayal, abandonment, loneliness, etc.) we live and relate from a place of courage and faith, knowing that our relationships will unfold in the ways that they need to, regardless of our efforts to control them. We bravely and joyfully show up to each interaction with the goal of being present to and enjoying the current moment, releasing anxiety about possible futures, and trust that even if things do not go as planned, things will unfold in a way that teaches us what we need to know to move forward.

Our partnerships, friendships, families and communities will be built not around competition, envy, anxiety, unworthiness, and fear, but around a commitment to mutual growth and an acknowledgement of mutual worthiness. Needs will be openly communicated and considered by one another, not only from a place of empathy but from the understanding that the liberation of another is inextricably bound up with our own liberation.

We will attend to our own healing (and that of others) from various traumas with the attention and care that we would give to the healing of a physical wound, knowing that when our bodies and minds are free from unaddressed trauma, we are free to live from our most liberated selves, and without the self-destructive impulses from which violence toward self and others originates.

From these principles, decisions about how to (re)build our communities, infrastructure, organizations, and common goals will flow naturally. Conflict will be embraced as an opportunity for deepening intimacy and better understanding one another, for providing clarity and acknowledging and redefining the boundaries of our relationships. Our conversations will be reparative, and our concepts of justice will be restorative, rather than retributive. We will strive to include and repair one another, rather than exile and villainize. We will know empowerment, advocacy, justice, equity, creativity, and peace.

Oh, and there will be lots of sleepy cats, and soft blankets, and hot tea.