Uptober is coming. I can feel it!
The signs are already here. BTC is warming up and everyone is getting excited about it. The news feeds are already full with lasser eyes, green candle is here, and those guys who has been predicting BTC to reach $150k since five years back are back.
Crypto forums are back in fashion with talk of "Wen moo?" While everyone begin polishing their rockets. But before we all get drunk in hopium, let's have a sober talk. Let's do what a good mother do to her school child before leaving the house - she check the lunch box and make sure your zip closed.
Before you jump out of the room and start shouting "Uptober", September has something serious for us to look back on.
Today, Certik dropped September crypto report card showing a whooping $766.4 million gone to hackers, phishers, and those guys with fake airdrop link on discord and Tweeter. With that amount, September stands officially as the worst month of 2026 for crypto crime. September happens to be a free ride for crypto thieves.
The charades started with Bitget exchange.
Imagine an exchange that handles billions worth of crypto with the assurance that funds are safu, and a $400M protection fund. Then one quite Thursday, someone finds the back door to their hot wallet and walk away with $388 million. That was Bitget on September 18th.
Then came Liquid Network, the Blockstream's Bitcoin sidechain. This was supposed to make Bitcoin faster.
Well, it was indeed fast. Fast for hackers to mint $320 million worth of fake Liquid BTC out of thin air because a multisig bug.
The craziness that followed the incident cannot be forgotten too soon. Crypto people on Twitter went crazy. Arkham send alert everywhere. Exchanges did their thing, by blacklisting. Of course, that's the best they can do. And in a plot twist nobody expected, the hacker returned over $270 million.
Perhaps the hacker did that either for fear of being caught or nowhere to sell the loot. But he returned it all the same. This means the liquid net only lost $50 million. That's still a lot of money gone.
The remaining $58 million is what I called the Small Chops. That's us. You and me who are wannabes on web 3 and crypto space. From airdrop claims to unlimited approval, to scam links clicking, phishing alone claimed $27 million. The "I want free money" syndrome caused a lot of havoc in September.
So, before you gear up for Uptober pay attention to this!
We all want Uptober to be green. We have suffered too much this year. I have bags like you, and we all want to be in profits. But September left us a note to look at once more.
If not your keys, it's not your money. This may be an old saying, but it still stands and will continue to stand as long as crypto remain. If it's not your cold wallet it's not your funds. Cexs maybe convenient but they can be dangerous at times.
Recheck your wallet over and over again and clear every standing approval. Provoke.cash is a great place to do that.
Above all, keep your seed phrases safe.
September swallow $766 millions. Make sure you don't donate to hackers and scammer in October.