RE: RE: Creative Nonfiction: A Night Out
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RE: Creative Nonfiction: A Night Out

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Hello steinhammer@steinhammer,

Your nonfiction story is very good. The story creates a heavy atmosphere, almost like a Raymond Chandler novel. It is a dark night and the errant taxi with Tim's wife is possibly heading toward her doom. Where is she? The search of the three friends ends well, but there is a sense of gloom overriding the piece. There is first of all what seems to be the woman's alcoholism. There is a darkness to that, which cannot be resolved in the space of a short story.

You hint at Tim's marital difficulties in the beginning of the piece. Now we see beneath the curtain. Each of these friends comes to the bar with a history. We now know more about Tim's.

The story is sensitive, intriguing and well developed. litguru@litguru's comment is apt, but this reader did not miss dialog. Somehow, the narration, unbroken, felt like a train speeding toward a tragic conclusion. Dialog might have broken that illusion. Fortunately, the conclusion was not tragic, although Tim's personal challenge remains on the table.

Thank you for sharing this with us, steinhammer@steinhammer.

@theinkwell: Hello @steinhammer, | Ecency