Hi joker33. Thanks for sharing your story in The Ink Well. That's an interesting method — using the last line of the story as the title! Very clever. Felix seems to have found his match.

We hope you're open to feedback, as we often will share ideas with the writers in our community about how they can improve their writing. One thing you could consider is including more dialog, especially, from Adaugo. Since the interactions between the two people are mostly summarized, it's a little difficult to get to know Adaugo and what makes her so attractive to Felix, other than her pretty picture on Facebook.

Good luck with your writing! Oh, and please be sure to check out our community rules on our home page. For example, we ask that all members of the community read and comment on at least two other stories for every story they post. This keeps our community strong and ensures all writers get eyes on their work.