Although this is certainly a fascinating story of a kingdom coming together to prevail against corruption, it can be hard to visualize these events through pure narrative. Here's a tip for you: Consider adding some dialogue between your characters, as well as some action.

These are two important elements of quality fiction that can bring a story to life. You have done a very nice job with the narrative, but it would be even better if you told some of the story in action, and added dialogue so the characters speak to each other. Here are a few resources for you:

• Action, Dialog and Narrative: The Dynamic Trio
• How to Write Dialogue in Fiction

We hope this feedback helps. Thank you for sharing your story with us, don't forget to engage with other members of the community as well!