This is a wonderful adventure story, @fantom22. One of the things that makes it stand out is the detail. We can see that you imagined every step, every possibility. This makes the story credible for us. It also builds our interest in the adventure.

You have here a hero and a quest. There are supernatural elements that intercede to insure the success of the hero. Your introduction of supernatural elements is more convincing because the hero has trouble believing them, but experience teaches him to be observant of their advice.

One thing you might look at is the last 3 paragraphs. they work well, except that you change the point of view suddenly. Throughout the story you tell the tale from the third person (ex he, they, them, Edward). Then you change to the first person (ex: us, I, me). It would be good to change the perspective to third person in those paragraphs to keep the point of view consistent.

This is a great story that holds the reader's interest. Please remember to link this story to the prompt post (for the September contest). Linking the story helps us to keep track of entries. Thank you for entering the contest.