picture care of "brainyquote.com"
Those of you who read my posts in 
My daughter, I'll call her Amy for this post, is just a teenager. I look around both online and in my local community and there are thousands of girls just like Amy. She is young, has made some questionable choices and is now coping with the result of the choices she has made.
This is the first relationship she has ever been in of this nature. She isn't the first girl to think that a baby with a difficult partner may be the thing that binds them together and helps to "settle him down".
It's been a life lesson for her and us as she comes to terms with the fact that her ex partner doesn't care about her or their baby. It's hard enough for me and her mother and i can only imagine how devastated she is inside when she see's her hopes dashed by her ex partner. She's a teenager and only gives us small glimpses of how she is really thinking, like most other teenagers.
To rub things in the private company who are paid to keep "an eye" on her and baby are now stopping her going to friends houses. This company has at times enabled "Amy" to deceive social services and continue the relationship with her now ex partner. Their only concern that i can see them having is how their shifts are effected if "Amy" and baby need less attention (surveilance). It seems to me, In a chain from managers down to the individual workers there is a focus on profit above all else. It's a scandal.
Most of what social services, and the private companies that now deliver most of the "care" do, is through manipulation. They use the obvious fact that they can remove her baby as the stick and they use "Amy's" desire to be free from living with their intrusion, as the carrot. I've sat here many a night and agonised over the position she is in. From what i can see, it's a terrible position to be in. Constant fear of losing the one thing in life that means the most to her. It's a powerful motivator but a very unfair one. Its called "section 47 enquiry".
This "enquiry" is a way that social services keep families and young mothers in a state of eternal panic and then pliant to suggestions they make. They lie about time scales of time different processes take to make the mother feel, "well it's only another 3 months" and i will be free from interference and the eternal worry of losing her baby!
It's a terrible position to be in and I'm sure not a great way to raise a baby from a medical point of view.
I think there comes a time when you have to "put your foot down", as it were. To challenge them on their decisions and use the courts to lay down some binding agreements to set boundaries in these matters. Up until now, 5 months down the line, "Amy" has been compliant with social services and the private company that deliver the care. She has done this as she was given false expectations that this process would only take a "few months". Yet now they have her in a position where she is staying in a house provided by the private company but charged to social services, but to keep that accommodation (that is very poor) she has to have at least 3 hours of face to face time with a support worker. In effect the support worker comes round and either watches TV or they don't come at all!! If "Amy" left this house now she would be essentially homeless and so risks losing her son for that reason. The private company will not provide the house if she doesn't also have the 3 hours of "care".
I have for a long time been telling her she needs to get a solicitor and challenge what they are doing in court. But it's her decision. She has thought the "path of least resistance" was what she thought was the best route. But she is realizing that the end goal is being forever moved. I know my advice is to do what i have said above. It's trying to support her and convince her to take the path that may seem more scarey. It's her decision.
Checks that would allow her more freedom are often kicked in to the long grass. Checks on anywhere she can go with baby. The only way i can see is to go to court to challenge what social services are dong or "Defy" one of their "conditions" and so force their hand. Obviously "Amy" is scared by this proposition.
It must be a money merry-go-round for the companies involved. They make money for the care they provide. So "Amy" is basically a hostage to the situation. I can't really imagine fully how much this all impacts on her and the baby but it must be huge. She has plenty of support from family yet this company has got in the middle and five months on are still waiting for "checks" on family members, or that seems to be their stock answer to most things.
My wife doesn't know which way to turn, she is driven by feeling. It hurts me so much to see her trying to do the right thing, supporting her daughter and challenging the companies that are manipulating her.
picture from net
I'm wondering if i can get advice from anyone who has been, or is going through, something similar, or can offer any advice. Can we, as grandparents have the right to challenge social services decisions surrounding our grandson? Even if it isn't initiated by our daughter?
We feel our daughter is making bad decisions, aided and coerced by a private firm who's motivations are obviously financial. They have been doing this for the last five months.
Even as grandparents there is fear. Fear of what could happen and what they may do. Hours and hours are spent agonising over decisions, mostly in the dark. Once when my wife complained about the private companies manipulation, the support worker just lied and was believed. When i pondered on this i realised, that private company will always be believed as social services, in hiring them, has to show confidence in their work. I've found it very hard to research the company "Second Step" online.
We really don't know where to turn next. That's why I'm reaching out to find anyone who can give me advice on the best way forward. The father of our daughters baby is violent and so we are adversely affected by that poor choice. Her ex partner is the sole cause of concern for my daughters baby from social services perspective yet everyone else is affected as he walks the streets. It's so unfair. Surely there are things the authorities could do to stop this man becoming a danger to our grandson and daughter??
It's a farce and while this farce continues the private companies get wealthy while social services, so under staffed, fail to keep an adequate eye on what is really going on. We are scared for our daughter and grandson. Yet we feel powerless to intervene..
Once again thank you to
