There's so much to be said about physics puns.

"An atom loses an electron in a bar. Are you sure? Yes, positive."

"Your Higgs Boson is giving me a Large Hadron"

But those have all been said.

):) Schrodinger's emoticon

"You matter because you energy"

"Distanceraptor/timeraptor=velociraptor"

"You know what they say about black holes... Once you go black, you never come back"

Said before

Here are my originals:

I know with how much my mom used to sleep around, I know I came into existence by a big bang.

Your Mama's so big, when she went ice skating I thought she was demonstrating Kepler's law of planetary motion.

Pluto should have never been demoted as a planet. I thought women always said that size doesn't matter?

When his wife caught the physicist at the strip club, he told her he was just working on G-string theory

Gif from giphy