With all this talk of spy balloons, wait until the people find out about the bird drones. #birdtruther

Me: Kids TV shows today are so corny. Kids TV shows from the 90's: hold my beer

Steaming Mad

Had to scramble for more change

Everyday before grades are due: Day grades are due:

When your kid goes from crawling to walking: Happens so fast, it can be hard to see the stages of progression. At the same time, somehow almost painfully slow. Daughter just recently started walking with

The rain on their wedding day caused sodium and chlorine to break up. Still attracted to each other though. Isn't it ionic? Don't ya think?

When those report cards come out: I'm blaming it on COVID-19, 20, 21, 22, and 23...

Reporting the news about the classified documents be like: (In reference to the title) "Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are

Hope when I'm old I can tell my grandkids about what it was like growing up when I was young. Grandkids: Money used to be printed on paper? Like what we use for the toilet? Me: That's right kiddo! We also

Benefits of living on a hill: Free hand-me-downs! One man's trash is another man's treasure

Cyberdyne Systems prime delivery

Price for a dozen eggs is too damn high. Eggscruciating pain, my wallet is taking a beating I know I'm going to sound old, but weren't eggs like a buck fifty for a dozen recently?

Just doing some experimenting with A.I. and thought this was kinda funny. With chatGPT, thispersondoesnotexist, and I think the world as we know it is starting to change as we know it. What is school going

Designing kids clothes has to be the easiest job in the world. Have you seen the "I like bread" pajamas? I think the designer just throws darts at a board and comes up with these ideas: I like...

Less than a week until Christmas be like:

Delivered! Tell us how we did. Umm, why do you need so much validation, Amazon? You did good, Amazon. Proud of you. Paper clips and tube socks arrived in pristine condition. No flaws. Amazing paper clips.

At work vs. at work Christmas party be like:

Driving to the airport, packed and ready to go on Christmas vacation and realize you forgot your kid Roll credits

Grievances, I have a few But airing them is what I must do To find strength and move forward And achieve great feats, like a sword start with that meatloaf you made It was tough and not well-braided And