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theabsolute
@theabsolute
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2016-07-27 03:29
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Wallet
theabsolute
punchline
2022-09-15 23:43
Best Day Ever
When you're a kid and you find a coin on the ground
$ 1.151
18
4
theabsolute
punchline
2022-09-11 21:52
DIY
When you've had enough fixing things around the house that you file an OSHA complaint for unsafe working conditions
$ 1.524
29
3
theabsolute
punchline
2022-09-02 00:40
Multitasking
When you are asked why you spend so long in the bathroom...
theabsolute
punchline
2022-08-30 12:09
It's the thought that counts
When your teacher tries to make a fun activity for everyone on their first day of school
theabsolute
punchline
2022-08-16 01:20
Even Joey Chestnut was Sweating 😅
Your mama so easy, she was runner up in the hot dog eating contest in college
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-17 00:36
Detox
I'm planning to do a one month detox from the internet (for the most part). Will this will be harder than cookie monster giving up cookies?
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-13 21:47
Who says they can't learn new tricks?
Teaching your taxidermied dog to roll over be like:
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-10 14:45
Birthday Shower Thoughts
theabsolute
memehive
2022-07-10 02:55
LOLZ Meme Challenge #2 For Real This Time
Original Post / Contest :
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-09 00:34
LOLZ Meme Challenge #2
Original Post / Contest
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-09 00:14
What's Poppin?
Everyone is getting a special meal/combo/sandwich at fast food places. Megan thee stallion's hottie sauce The Jack Harlow Combo The Nickelback Sandwich Douche Chris Brown
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-07 14:28
Stamina Boost
Explaining to fellow nerds what sex was like for the first time:
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-05 23:51
Because Stone Cold Said So
Kids when they are sitting in detention without their phone for 15 seconds: And that's the bottom line
theabsolute
punchline
2022-07-01 01:06
Eeyore needs a medical marijuana card
When piglet put something extra in the honey for pooh. Tigger was already bouncing off the walls, so he must of had something else
theabsolute
punchline
2022-06-28 02:55
These Hazings are out of Control
Warning labels are there for a reason My friends on 4th of July. No more Instant Noodles
theabsolute
punchline
2022-06-22 01:40
Super Spreader
When you give the whole family Rona and your wife asks you for some of your viral load...
theabsolute
punchline
2022-06-18 02:56
Tips Hat
When your business asks for a tip on simply selling an item in your store I hate this tipping culture. Are you going to tip your toll worker for collecting a toll for the road you crossed?
theabsolute
punchline
2022-06-15 02:53
Forget the pencils
Teacher supply checklist: 2022-2023 school year edition And maybe some dry erase markers too
theabsolute
punchline
2022-06-14 03:44
Go with the flow
When you try really hard to remember something and then out-of-the-blue it just comes to you later in the day when you stop thinking about it. A hippy took her ring to a pawn shop to see if it was real
theabsolute
punchline
2022-06-13 01:45
Last Airbender: Breaking Wind
Aang's girlfriend has just about had it with her boyfriend's practical jokes Bold
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