One morning as I was preparing for work, I received a bit of inspiration that I had known logically, but felt deeply in that moment. It was a humbling, almost terrifying thought:
Sometimes, the next move isn't up to God; it is up to us.
This flies in the face of most religious people, because certainly, God is in control, right? But in this moment, I came to understand more deeply the implications of my age old question: after you believe, then what? Let us, now, use an analogy to unfold this inspiration.
Perhaps you, like me, have had the occasion to experience a blown tire while driving down a long, lonely road. In my case, I was over 200 miles from home at the time, out on I-10 in the panhandle of Florida. If had been unwilling to get dirty and sweaty, I could have waited for AAA to come. After all, I was on the road alone and had no help (and no one stopped). But, with the exits being 10-15 miles apart in this rural part of the state, there's no telling how long I would have waited, or what type of person would have been sent to help me, or how much longer I would have had to wait, even with help, since it was a Sunday. Fortunately, my little Nissan was equipped with a lug wrench, a basic jack, and a spare "donut" tire, so I set to work trying to change the tire so that I could get going again as quickly as possible.
With the experience of life often being described as a journey along a road, it is straightforward for us to deduce that, along this so-called road of life, we sometimes have troubles (e.g. "blowouts") that cause us to pull off to the shoulder. Sometimes, we have to wait for help to arrive; but often, our ability to move forward is in our hands.
There are two scriptures that I will lift up as examples of deliverance through self agency in dire circumstances. One was self-initiated, the other was divinely commanded. For all of the faith that we claim to have in God, and all the trust that we put in God, sometimes, we all know that trouble still makes its way to our doorstep. Sometimes, we hold the belief that if we believe in God staunchly enough, He will swoop in and save us. This, of course, is possible! Indeed, God does swoop in and save, and sometimes He saves in miraculous fashion.
However, these scriptures show us that having faith in God is not always sufficient to secure our deliverance (I discussed this in my essay, "Faith in What?"). A subtlety that we sometimes overlook is that the agent by which God brings deliverance is not always another person, or even an outside force. Sometimes we are the agent in our own deliverance! Sometimes, the power is in our hands!
Let us consider the plight of starving lepers as recorded in 2nd Kings 7:
[3] ...there were four leprous men at the entering in of the gate: and they said one to another, 'Why sit we here until we die?'
[4] If we say, 'We will enter into the city', then the famine is in the city, and we shall die there: and if we sit still here, we die also. Now therefore come, and let us fall unto the host of the Syrians: if they save us alive, we shall live; and if they kill us, we shall but die.
The lepers realized this, not so much as a religious or even a spiritual matter, but as a practical one. They realized, "We're already going to die, so why sit here and do nothing, when there is a chance that by going forward, we may somehow miraculously live?" Little did they know that they were walking into a prophetic blessing. But, their presence of mind to see their situation for what it was, and then choose boldly shows us that God put the power to improve their lot in their hands.
With Moses, the lesson was a bit more direct, and perhaps a bit more unsettling. Moses had faith in God, and immediately sought God when he saw how dire the situation was at the Red Sea. But then, God responded:
"Wherefore criest thou unto Me?"
Can you imagine how Moses must have felt in that moment? It was probably the longest second of his life! Fortunately, God didn't leave him hanging long, giving Moses the instruction:
...[S]peak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward: but lift thou up thy rod, and stretch out thine hand over the sea, and divide it...
In short, God told Moses, "No, I'm not going to save you. I have placed the power in your hands!"
Sometimes, God puts the power in our hands. We may not think of everyday circumstances and decision making as moments of deliverance, but how many times have we saved ourselves from future trouble by simply doing the right thing earlier? The power to choose life and to choose right in each moment is in our hands. Every time we chose not to steal that money, every time we chose not to talk bad about someone, every time we chose to leave that beautiful woman or that handsome man (who is not our spouse) alone, we are using our power to choose right and save ourselves some problems. Every time we chose to actually do work on the job and not just goof off, every time we helped someone in need (even an enemy), every time we forgave someone who hurt us instead of seeking revenge, we saved ourselves some avoidable trouble and unnecessary pain; and we may have even earned additional mercy and blessings from God.
In our own minds, we may not equate these individual decisions with something as awesome as the Red Sea parting, but when we consider the quality of life that we have enjoyed and the blessings we have received for just trying to live right, we see that those choices largely shaped the path that we find ourselves walking today. But, in order to provide some context, let us consider the plight of some people who grew up with us, who had a similar upbringing as we did, who came from a similar socio-economic status... went to the same schools... attended the same church... even came from the same family, but who have made different choices and found themselves on much different paths. In light of these contrasts, we can see that God has put some power of self-determinism in our hands. He has given us the tools, the teachings, the support, people who love us; He has given us intellect, given us personal drives, goals, and ambitions, and given us our daily bread for umpteen years. With all that He has put in our hands, the daily choice has been, "What are we going to do with it?"
We have been given so many edifying and life-affirming teachings. We have read countless stories of deliverance in the Bible. We have even experienced deliverance in the lives of our loved ones and even in our own lives. Admittedly, it's easy to sit on the side of the road and wait for help to arrive. But, sometimes, the inner prodding nags us with the question, "Why sit we here and die? Move forward and use what God has put in your hands!"
Sometimes, we do have to step out on faith when we can't see the way. We may have the urge to walk forward, but our inability to see may give us pause. Sometimes, practicalities force the issue. But, many times, we have found as that line in the poem says:
...you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
We never know what lesson God may be teaching, or how God may manifest His presence or His power. But, if there is one thing we should take from these musings, it is this: although God is the Source of all power, He has put some of it in our hands, and He's waiting for us to discover and acknowledge it, and to see that we have the courage to use it wisely, for the upliftment of His people and of the world.
We should not place the burden of living on God. That's why we're here--to live! While life itself may be from God, the responsibility of living (right) is in our hands.
