Break the Unconscious Cycles

A few months ago, I was dismayed by the criticism that some received for their first steps toward attempts to change. The criticizers basically assumed that the person's pledge to change was "fake", perhaps attempting to shame the person by bringing up their past. Ironically, the criticizer seemed unwilling to change, and further, seemed oblivious to his own negative behavior and need to change. It was a case of "the pot calling the kettle black", but at least the kettle had gotten into the sink to be washed...

In order to change and grow, we must consciously break negative cycles of behavior with forgiveness (of self and/or others), being more wary of perpetuating the status quo than we are of being the target of critical or negative responses of those who either do not see the need, or have not yet developed the courage to change.

With this background, the following message came forth.

Several years ago, my family took on the responsibility of owning a pet. Our first pet was a hamster whom we named Hammy. Hamsters, we were told, were one species of what are known as "gateway pets."

Gateway pets, in contrast to larger pets like dogs or cats, are more hands off, not requiring as much oversight or nurturing. Gateway pets enable potential pet owners (especially children) to become acculturated to thinking about the life and well-being of a life other than their own. The rationale is that, after having developed this greater sensitivity, the family would be ready to take on the responsibility of caring for a more consequential and high-maintenance pet.

True to form, Hammy lived a largely quiet, anonymous life in his cage. But, there was one hallmark to Hammy's routine, which is actually stereotypical of most hamsters: he had a wheel. Hammy would spend several minutes at a time running in his wheel, sometimes at the most ungodly times at night! Around and around Hammy ran in his wheel, making a lot of noise, working out and exhausting himself, and not having gone anywhere at all. As entertaining as it was to watch sometimes, and as fulfilling even as it may have been for him, I would often find it ominously humorous to note that he had not gone anywhere after all that effort.

I began to understand at a deeper level why the hamster wheel motif has been used as a metaphor for a human life that seems frantic, and yet, in its frenzy, is stagnant, unproductive, or not advancing.

It is sad to say that, in terms of our life goals, and especially with respect to our people skills and interpersonal relationships, most people seem to step onto an emotional and spiritual hamster wheel around high school age. We blend in, do a whole lot of scurrying around in the world, often with little to show for it.

Particularly with our people skills, many find it difficult to shed the bad habits we learned while growing up. Some even embrace those habits as "the way it is", not ever questioning them or reviewing them objectively. Often, it is only when our family members, our co-workers, or members of some other social group hurt us that we even start to think about such things. For some, it is only when the burdens or pressures of life become so untenable, and we are forced by the exhaustion caused by attrition to give up and stop running, that we stop (terrified as we may be) and re-think our whole life, and in particular, those unconscious motivators of our behavior. This just goes to show just how difficult and infrequent introspection is in our society, even with its known benefits.

In fairness, the controllers of society benefit from us being distracted "wheel runners", but in order for us to grow spiritually, to advance as a people, and to achieve our destiny, we must break the unconscious cycles.

As we move forward, please review our scriptures of context here and here...

We usually recount the Exodus story with awe and wonder, trying to imagine what it would have been like to live through those plagues (particularly the 10th plague), or more, what it would have been like to walk through a parted Red Sea. And yet, within days after coming through such a spectacular event, the people were complaining to Moses. Exodus 15 records:

[23] And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter...
[24] And the people murmured against Moses, saying, What shall we drink?

It was a seemingly reasonable request, except that the Bible described it as "murmuring". Murmuring is indistinct grumbling or complaining. This is in contrast to what the Bible says about Moses' response: "...he cried unto the LORD."

With this water episode being the first crisis after deliverance, it is not unexpected that the people would be concerned, even stressed out, or that they'd be unfamiliar in the ways of approaching or communing with God (especially those of the mixed multitude).

However, as we find in Numbers, the people never seemed to stop complaining! They were stuck in an unconscious cycle of murmuring and complaining. They wanted to be out of Egypt... until they were out. Then, they kept complaining about what they didn't have now that they were free; to the point that some openly contemplated going back!

At first, they complained about not having basic needs, but God provided, often instantly, or in short order. Later, they complained about nice-to-have things, and God still provided. And yet, with God's constant proving and provisions, the people kept complaining!

Worse still, the satisfied complaints never seemed to generate any appreciation or gratitude--or find any satisfaction! So, the people are getting what they want, even though they were unthankful for having gotten it, unappreciative of the One Who gave it, and unsatisfied even though they received what they asked for.

Ultimately, God decreed that, since their "way" was not going to change, they would die in this miserable place. How ironic is it that a miserable people were left to die in a miserable place! But, realistically, what options are left for a people stuck on a hamster wheel, unable or unwilling to break their unconscious cycle of miserable complaining (which was briefly interrupted with fleeting moments of carnal satisfaction)?

This dismal decree didn't have to be, as Joshua and Caleb showed. Of them, the Bible says that they "had another spirit" in them. Somehow, they were able to see beyond the dysfunctional complaining-satiation cycle to recognize that the process in which they were engaged was the fulfillment of a Divine Promise! Numbers 14 records:

[7] ...The land, which we passed through to search it, is an exceeding good land.

[8] If the LORD delight in us, then He will bring us into this land, and give it us; a land which floweth with milk and honey.

[9] Only rebel not ye against the LORD, neither fear ye the people of the land; for they are bread for us: their defence is departed from them, and the LORD is with us: fear them not.

The people, as we know, didn't want to hear that, and they were so adamant until they wanted to actually kill Joshua and Caleb! Can you imagine? It wasn't enough to merely reject their view or even to shout them down. They actually wanted to kill them! But what Joshua and Caleb help us to see is the bigger picture.

God is not a servant or an ATM machine. God's miracles of provision were intended to conceal and yet reveal His presence and demonstrate His power to them. In short, God was saying, "I am YOUR God! I am here, I am able, I am available."

Further, they understood that, if God is with them, there is absolutely nothing that they could not be, have, or do. The point of the miracles was not to lavish them with gifts or to curry favor. It was to pique their curiosity, convince them of the reality of the Promise, and (hopefully) encourage them to accept it on faith.

But, the people could not think beyond their own self interest, or beyond their own "I want" desires. They could not see the back-and-forth cycle of their request-response dynamic. They could not see that they existed to serve God, and not vice versa.

God does not exist simply to push our buttons and then have us push back, in an endless cycle of pointless futility. God responds to us from the mystery of the Cosmos, not to keep a give-and-take cycle going, but to stir our curiosity so that we are compelled to seek and discover Him, so that He can then reveal more and more of Himself to us. It is this HIGHER, CONSCIOUS cycle of seeking Him and of Him revealing His essence with increasing depth and clarity, it is this sublime discovery of His is-ness and what-ness that life is all about!

Many of us have been stuck in the lower, unconscious cycle of simply having our basic needs met and our carnal desires satiated. We've made a lot of noise, we've entertained or been entertained, and still managed to make little, if any, spiritual progress For those stuck in this place, they cannot possess the Promised Land.

All of us, at some point, have lived in this lower place, unwittingly perpetuating our mental bondage in this insidious, unconscious cycle. We were so accustomed to chasing, efforting, acquiring, satisfying, and then begging again, until we didn't realize that there is another, HIGHER way to live!

As much as God has promised us, and as much as God wants to give us and reveal to us, the condition of accepting His sublime offerings is to yearn for and seek this unknowable potential more than we are satisfied with regular, everyday life in the physical plane. We convey our acceptance, not by joining a church or even by merely believing a concept. We accept it by our actions.

In the terms of the covenants, we have to live according to the IFs.¹ In spite of our feelings of unworthiness, live according to the IFs. In spite of our inability to see or even conceive of how God will do it, live according to the IFs. Even if people, even loved ones, don't understand or even give us grief, live according to the IFs! Break the unconscious cycles by living consciously and deliberately according to the IFs!

Someone has to stop the childish games of poke-and-poke back; someone has to let it go, someone has to forgive the adversary for poking, forgive themselves for being caught up in trivial minutiae. Someone has to accept the conflict that is a necessary by-product of transformation. Many people are not used to living in peace, are not used to the absence of nit-picking, criticism and judgment, even from those closest to us, that we don't realize that we don't have to accept that or live this way.

It takes courage to let go, to forgive, to break the unconscious cycle. It takes courage to be willing to leave others there, not because you don't love them or want better for them; but because they have to want better for themselves. It is healthier for you to disengage and not continue to fuel a dysfunctional cycle.

The consequence of doing this is CHANGE! You are literally not the same person, you do not follow the same thought processes, you're not driven by the same motivations; you're literally going down a different path. There can be apprehension, even fear when pioneering into the unknown, but it is still your SELF; and you know YOU, right? We can all move into a better version of ourselves and feel comfortable.

Speaking for myself, I find it more problematic to stay stuck in a known dead end because I already know its end (and I know that I don't want that), than to step forward into an unknown new.

In cosmic realm, there are cycles, and we're coming to the end of one. The cycle serves a purpose (presenting spiritual lessons in context of earthly life). The goal is to learn from, not to perpetuate (or stay stuck in) the cycle; else one is doomed to repeat it again.

Let us break free, break out of our unconscious cycles.

¹See, for example, Deuteronomy 28, which begins, "And it shall come to pass, if..."

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Break the Unconscious Cycles | Ecency