"I knew my strength was gone when my feelings numbed.
I knew that my emotions died when my face feigned a smile
I did not cry, I laughed today, so hard I did,
It felt like I was washed off of my senses
I wanted to drown in tears like always,
I could not!
So I laughed so hard, it echoed the voices rummaging answers in my head.
/....................../
I did not struggle with fleeing,
The taste of grief was not just familiar, it became savory
The wounds of my heart became a solace
I drenched harder in hurt so I can feel nothing again
Life blows me with the "Lows", so the fight began,
Trying to get high on victory, my face fell flat again
So I became a cold-washed stone and laughed so loud.
...."
Excerpt from my manuscripts...