Where to begin?? This is epic man!! A real piece of work here!!! Sounds like you been havin a right rough time of it man!! Comin off the meds is gonna be a ride I guess! you going in the right direction but youre never gonna get there quick enough, if that makes sense? Being able to put it into a track is amazing bruv!!! 4 real!!! As far as the spiritual thing, I think its about balance, once you tip that balance too far into a certin realm, it can get tricky! i dunno. 10/10!!