Kamsi was perched at the edge of her friend’s bed, trying to figure out how to solve the media flow chart. The assignment was agonizing and the going was slow. Her friend, Vicky wasn't having it any better and the weather wasn't helping issues. The sun was blazing hot outside and the stifling heat made it hard to think.
“Does Dr Toyin want to kill us ehn? What he did not even teach us, see the kind of assignment he is giving somebody?” Vicky complained while using her book to fan her self.
“If his assignments are this tough, how will his exams be, ehn? Kamsi added. “He’s just making life unnecessarily hard for us.”
“Maybe, I should just text Zach.” Vicky said.
“Who's Zach?” Kamsi asked absentmindedly, her mind focused on the chart before her.
“He’s a 400 level student. The smartest in his class. He should be able to explain it.”
“Ohh, nice. If he does, please help my life.”
Vicky picked up her phone, her hands moving rapidly across the screen, then she dropped it and continued scribbling in her note. Minutes later, her phone beeped.
“He said he will be here this evening.” Vicky told Kamsi.
“Ahh, you know I have plans in the evening. Anyhow, if he explains to you, just explain it to me when we see in school.”
“No problem. Dr Toyin will not be the end of us sha.”
Later on, when Vicky had explained the flowchart to her in the evening, it had come so easily to Kamsi. That was when she knew that the Zach was quite smart. After submitting the assignment and getting an A in it, she had told Vicky to send her gratitude to Zach on her behalf and then she had pushed him out of her mind, forgetting him totally.
It was time for faculty elections. The newly built Faculty of Communication and Media Studies was conducting it's first election and the air was filled with tension and excitement. Group chats flowed with election flyers and DMs were blown with candidates soliciting for support behind doors. Kamsi normally didn't open the faculty group chat due to the fact that it was always overflowing with messages that didn't make sense and she couldn't even keep up with it. So, it was always archived. But this particular day, she had decided to post a flyer for a candidate she was supporting on the group chat when she had seen conversations related to academics. Some 300level students were lamenting about the toughness of 300level and how stressful and draining it was. They also jokingly recommended that if anyone didn't have the energy or strength to go through it, it would be better to drop out. Kamsi felt they were exaggerating and just trying to put fear in their junior coursemates, so she typed, “Instead of putting fear in us, how about you guys give us tips that can help us manage the stress.🙂”
One of them apologized and dropped tips saying, “300 level is a rollercoaster of many plenty things but here's some tips that can help you manage stress….”
And then she saw the text. The text that caught her attention just by the punctuations and articulation. The text said, “The workload is so helluvalot that you had to describe it with two synonymous adjectives, lol.” And then Kamsi was texting the person who had sent that text. That was how she came in contact with the Zach.
When she proceeded to text him, she wondered how she was going to start the conversation. She wondered how she was going to introduce herself to him. So, she just decided to go with a simple, “Hi, good evening.” And that was the beginning of what she would term the brief Interlude.
That first day of texting was full of hesitation and pauses. It was that day she would find out she was texting with the famous Zach. The Zach whom Vicky had always talked about. The Zach who had helped them pass the media flow chart assignment. She was excited to get to know him.
Zach was a final year student. A handsome dark skinned guy, with a polished accent and the ability to compose texts legibly. This was what had attracted Kamsi to him. He was fun to chat with and he knew how to carry on conversations. His online personality came off as someone thoughtful, concerned, caring, knowledgeable and willing to listen. And even though they had just begun to text, this endeared him to her.
Over the next one week, they had talked about almost every and anything ranging from books to academics to writing to religion to relationships. Conversation had come easy for the both of them and they enjoyed it. This period was also during Kamsi’s exams. Every morning, he would text her to wish her good luck and afterwards, he would ask her how her exams went. And slowly, the softness started creeping into her heart. She found herself anticipating his texts. She found herself replying him as soon as his texts came in. She found herself smiling and laughing at his messages because Zach had a delightful sense of humor.
But like almost all good things that had happened to her, it didn't last long. On a cold Tuesday night, Zach had sent her multiple texts that alarmed her when she saw it the next morning.
“I feel so sad tonight. So many words in my head that I’m not able to let out. All my life, it seems I have always been misunderstood. I really think I need to see a therapist.” His texts read. She texted him back immediately, asking what was wrong and pleading with him to speak to her but it didn't deliver to him. His profile picture was blank. Zach had either blocked her or deactivated his account.
She tried calling him, it didn't go through and for the next few days, she kept wondering what had made Zach go silent like that. She kept wondering what had triggered him to send those texts. During the holidays, she finally got a ksingle text from Zach. “Hi.” It said.
She stared at the message for long. It seemed she had lost the ability to comprehend a simple two letter word. She replied back, “Hey.”
He asked her how she was and what she had been up to and how school was turning up for her. He was pretending like everything was okay, like he hadn't sent alarming texts. And after they had exchanged stilted pleasantries, she went straight to the point. She asked him what had gone wrong. Why he had gone ghost without telling her. And he said, “I just feel no one cares. I feel alone. I don't think I have friends that care. Even if I went offline for three months, nobody would notice. The only thing people has ever needed me for was for school stuff and assignments. It was what my ex needed me for. She was only in a relationship with me because I was smart and she could use me to get her assignments and projects done. And she eventually left me. She left me.”
Kamsi was stuck for words. She didn't know what to say to this vulnerable person. It didn't help that she also felt guilt because she remembered the first time she had heard of Zach. It had been assignment related. Kamsi didn't know how to comfort him. She had never learnt how to say the proper words to people who were in need of comfort or a shoulder to lean on. But she tried her luck anyway.
K
“Zach, I'm sorry about this. I can't say that I relate to how you are feeling. I guess there must have been something that triggered you to think this way. But the point here is that you are needed and valued in your own way, even if you might not recognize it. It's normal for people to only contact you when they need you. It's just human nature. But it doesn't mean that you don't matter to some people or that you won't be missed or noticed if you were gone for a long time. I desperately missed you while you went offline. And I didn't know how I could reach you. You needed to see how I breathed in relief when I saw your text. You matter, Zach.” Kamsi sent the text.
She watched the status bar change to ‘typing’. She wondered if her text would change the way Zach saw himself. She wondered if it had provided a sort of comfort for him.
“Thank you, Kamsi. Your words hit a deep core in my heart. And I'm grateful for them and for you. You have been a healthy presence in my life. You and your conversations. You and your topics. You and your stubbornness.”
As Kamsi read the first text, she wondered where he was heading to. Why he sounded like he was going to a very far place.
“Actually, my father died during the days I was offline and I have had to be shouldering the responsibilities. Because of this, I have made the decision to drop out of school, so I can focus on providing for my mother and sisters. I didn't have anyone I could confide in about issues like this. I didn't want anyone to feel pity towards me. But, I'm glad I was able to talk to you about how I felt. It saddens me that this is the last time we will ever be in contact.”
Immediately Kamsi saw this text, she started typing furiously.
“Wait, Zach. What do you mean by last time?”
“I'm sorry, Kamsi. If the future permits, I hope we meet once again and I hope we actually get to know each other fully. Stay safe.”
That was the last time Kamsi would ever hear from Zach. She texted and called but Zach had gone off the grid. It didn't help that she didn't know exactly where he lived or who his close friends were or if he even had one. Whenever Kamsi looked back on that period, she would chuckle sadly at the way her heart had opened to the prospect of loving him before he had abruptly cut her off without any reasonable excuse. They had never broached the issue of love and relationships or talked about feelings but she had just known that she wanted to love him. Kamsi would always remember this brief interlude with a stranger she had known.
